I'm sitting in a hotel room in Boardman, Ohio. I spent like fourteen or fifteen hours in a vehicle today driving from Jacksonville to here, and I definitely wasn't used to it. I can do five hours fine, as most people can, but I haven't been in a car for longer than that in quite some time. I got to sleep quite a bit, which I was into, but just sitting back there was just rough. But, I'm here.

Ohio is probably my favorite place I've ever been to. I'm a big fan of being with family, and since I never really got to be with them when I was growing up, I really love coming to visit them now. I don't really know how to put it in words I guess.

We don't really like doing family picnic for different reasons, but the last one we had with everyone was just a lot of fun. I believe I was seven or eight, but I can still remember it like it was yesterday. It was just pure bliss for me. I feel like such a loser saying that, but it's very true.

Tomorrow is time with my mother's family, and then UFC with Doug and John. After that is fair game.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas or holiday or whatever. I was gonna post about my favorite Christmas (1997, if you were wondering), and how I got an N64 and that first WCW game for it, and it was so great. I'm not sure if one will be better than that, but we all have to grow up sometime.

I need to move into some cold weather, and hope for a White Christmas. Haven't had one of those in a while.



xxx.

"If we had known what we know now, one year later, we'd still be around."
- "One Year Later," The Get Up Kids.


Why did I start this post out with a lyric? I'm not entirely sure. I was listening to the actual song, and he just keeps repeating it. I thought it seemed right, so I went with it. We'll see what happens.

I've been really busy lately with work and wrestling. Last weekend's FIP events were fun, but I didn't get to sleep much. I stayed up way too late editing pictures, and then woke up earlier than I had wanted. Granted, I still woke up at around 11am, but still...I'd rather sleep more than less.

Christmas is officially tomorrow, and I'm not very prepared. I think I have all of the gifts I needed to buy, but I still feel like I'm missing something. I'm just stressed. After Christmas, I will be in Ohio until the following Tuesday, and then it's back to the daily grind. This Ohio trip means a lot to me, because it'll be the first time in three years that I've actually been out of the state. Saying that back sounds kind of ridiculous to me, but it's completely true.

I'm a big fan of Ohio because I'm a big fan of having my entire family together. I never got to experience that growing up, and I wish I could've. There's a lot of heat within both sides of my family, but a lot of it seems to have been squashed. I always hated watching television shows where grandparents would come and visit the kids, and bring them gifts and words of wisdom, because I never had that. I have a grandmother that lived with us, and while I love her to death, she's just crazy. Other than that, I can't say I have grandparents, even though 3/4 of them are alive. It's kind of sad.

I'm just kind of lonely. 'Tis the season.




xxx.

So Andy tagged me in something on Twitter where I have to say seven things that people may not know about me. I believe that is the premise. So, here we go.


I'm a professional wrestling photographer that isn't super into photography. I used to love photography, but I'm kind of bored with it. I know there's still so much more to learn, and there's so much more to do, but it's not where I want to be. For now, I'm fine with it, but someday I will be famous.

I love professional wrestling. I know a lot of people know it, but I like mentioning it. I don't remember the first time I watched it, but my dad said I'd get upset if he changed it when I was a baby. I went to my first live event when I was two, and though I don't remember the location, I remember knowing all of the wrestlers there. I can't tell you why I'm attached to it, but I can tell you that I'm glad I am. I've met too many great people.

I have two tattoos, and both are music related. My first tattoo I got a few days after I turned 18, and it's the sheep from Minor Threat's "Out of Step" album. I've always felt like the black sheep because I moved around so much, and I never got to share the same memories that my friends did. I just don't feel like I'm with the pack, so to speak. The other is a logo from a Lifetime t-shirt of a boy looking at the stars. I'm following my dreams and focusing on the unknown of the future. But, I am still trying to maintain being a child at heart.

I constantly see double vision. I've had two eye surgeries, and I guess it never got fixed. I used to lie about it and say that I didn't see double, but now it is to the point where doctors can't fix me. So I'm stuck with my double vision.

I lived down the street from the Pentagon on September 11, 2001. When I say "down the street," I mean we could see it from the balcony of the condo we were staying in. I hope to never forget laying in bed that night, listening to DC101 playing Blink 182's "Stay Together For The Kids," and smelling the smoke. It really impacted me. I'm lucky in the fact that I didn't lose anybody I personally knew, but I still feel for those that did. Washington, DC was a ghost town that week.

I am only going to college to appease my family. I feel as though I'm not gaining any sort of education, and it all just seems pointless to me. I'm getting my AA and I guess we will see what happens from there. Nothing I want to do involves a college degree, but I guess I could use it as a fall back.

I'm not sure of my religious beliefs. I feel as though it is kind of crazy to think that there is an invisible man in the sky. I also don't think that the population should be afraid of this God, or any god for that matter. I was listening to This American Life the other day, andit had a story about a preacher that started to disbelieve what he was preaching. He said that Jesus was worst than Hitler, because Jesus has apparently sent billions of people to hell, and that's for eternity. I just listen to everyone and take it in. I believe in myself.



There you have it.


xxx.

So if you're reading this and you're a friend of mine, you should already know that I'm a HUGE mark for The O.C. I decided to check Youtube for some clips tonight (because I'm too lazy to bust out the DVDs), and I decided to watch the ending scene of season one, where it shows Seth setting sail, Ryan driving away, and everyone separating, while "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley played in the backround.

What does this have to do with me? Nothing. It has to do with Summer 2005.

That summer changed my outlook on life.

I hate to dwell on the past, but those couple of months were just crazy. Every day was something new. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Chicanery. Tom Foolery. Late nights. Early mornings.

That summer was the closest I had ever felt to my friends. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I wasn't alone. I felt as though my friends actually got me, as opposed to pretending and nodding their heads. I had the Tripod. I had the Dodeca Daters. I had countless soundtracks (including "Hallelujah"). I had fun.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Due to the actions at a party I apparently dipped out of way too early, the group disbanded. Sure, there were countless reincarnations of it, but nothing could ever compare.

Nothing will ever come close.

I lived my own O.C., and I'm still here to tell about it. What about you?



xxx.

I got some old Juliana Theory, M.O.P., and the old Dashboard EPs today. I was reading an old issue of Alternative Press with Juliana Theory, and it got me thinking about how I loved them live, so I decided to revisit.

I have my last final at 10am tomorrow, and I'm not entirely ready for it. Shocker, right? Oh well. I get what I earn.

We had a holiday party at work today, and it was a lot of fun. I got there at 9am and started decorating, and after the festivities and whatnot, I didn't even start working until 1pm. It was sweet.

My cough isn't getting any better. It is just hurting more and more.

The trackball on my Blackberry keeps getting stuck. Damn my sweaty hands. I'm so gross.



xxx.

I've been really sick lately. I guess it makes sense...I have class Monday thru Thursday mornings, work 2pm-10:30pm Monday thru Thursday, and then wrestling Friday-Sunday. I don't have any time to rest anymore, so I took today off from work. This is kind of a big deal for me, as, though I have left work early due to sickness, I haven't actually missed a day of work since about May. I used to have a major problem with wanting to skip work, and actually skipped work more than I should. But, ever since I started at Bank of America in March, I really haven't wanted to. I enjoy the people I work with, as well as the work that I do. It doesn't make sense to me, I guess.

I was in Boca Raton, FL over the weekend staying with my friends the Vitales, as well as Mark and Shain, and of course JD drove down with me. I always have fun when I go down there, and even though Amy and I were basically dying, I had a blast. The show on night one wasn't too great, but hearing the commentary from the boys and getting to hang out with Andy at ringside made the night for me. I apologize to everyone I was with that night, because, due to my age, we were kicked out of the bar area. But, I got to sit down and talk to my friends, and I really enjoyed it.

Second day, we had Fusion down in Boynton, and it was a lot of fun. This company is really going to be blowing up soon, and everyone in Florida needs to pay attention. Had a good time at the Duffy's afterparty, getting to talk to my homie Chris Jones, and the rest of the south Florida guys.

I sometimes feel like such a loser for doing what I do, but I love it. I'm still chasing my dream of making money in this business, and, with this schedule, I might die trying, haha.


I'm all jumbled. I have a final in the morning. Love you.




xxx.

Me?

I was a maverick before the term was trendy.

Cold winter nights in Florida are warm winter nights in Maryland. Fact.

On Halloween, it had been seven years since I moved into my house in Chesapeake Beach. I can remember that day perfectly, from Gunston Middle's Halloween dance to riding my skateboard around Bayview Hills. I guess it's weird for me to think about.

I've been fabing phone calls a lot lately, and I apologize to everyone I did that too. I get in these moods where talking to people just isn't a main priority.

I'm laying in bed after watching episode upon episode of 30 Rock with Em, Stephanie, and Ian, and I'm anticipating the next months to come. I'm booked up every weekend until Christmas; how cool is that? I'm getting to travel around and get paid to be in the business I love. I'm not gonna stop until I'm at the top, though.

It's hard to fall in love, and easy to fall out.
Credits roll, fade to black, the audience screams and shouts.
And when you find that spot of time to look back at what you lost,
I hope to god you're surprised to find it was worth more than it cost.




xxx.

Yes, I haven't updated since September 8th, Danielle. I'm sorry.

I have gone on here and written on my phone, but I always end up deleting it. I usually write when I am laying in bed at Mark's house, and I am usually there once a week. But, for whatever reason, I always end up pressing "Clear field" and shutting off my phone.

I got in a car accident today. Every car accident I've been in (knock on wood) has been caused by somebody else's wreckless driving. This time, a woman hit another woman who in turned hit me. I guess that's what I get for sitting still in traffic like everybody else was. I got off of work early because I wasn't feeling well, and getting in that accident didn't make me feel much better. But, it was nice outside, so at least I got to enjoy that, right?

...right?



xxx.

Oh man, how good is this album? I've been listening to it on repeat for the past couple of days. I heard about them through AP Magazine, and then heard some of their stuff on NPR the other day. This is the first band in a long time that I haven't found by myself or through a friend. Let's see if this band is just a phase or not, but I can tell you that I have listened to this album in my car three times today (I drive a lot. Big deal. Wanna fight about it?), and am listening to it right now before I go to sleep.


"Everybody leaves, and I'd expect as much from you."


My sister's 21st birthday was on Saturday, and it was fun. I still look at her as that nine year old that I used to play with, though. Getting older isn't worth it. Let's just pause the world for a bit and remain this way.


Classes began two weeks ago, and so far so good, methinks. Nothing too major, nobody too major. Just classes, bro. Just classes.


This coming weekend I believe will be a trip to Tallahassee, and then the week after that is I Believe in Wrestling down in Orlando. I'm really excited for the 26th and 27th, though, because the Jeff Peterson Cup 2008 will be taking place. This is my first time working the Peterson Cup, or even attending, and I couldn't be happier. It is for a great cause, and even though I know nobody reads this blog, I'd like to just promote it a bit.



I need to go to bed.







xxx.

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I have to be up for work in three hours and I'm still awake. I'm punk rock.



xxx

It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

I have been really busy as of late, and I'm not sure if it is going to end anytime soon. At least I don't feel like I am wasting my life anymore. Not as much, at least.

Even though my Snoopy pajama pants have Christmas trees on them, I don't feel like they are only a seasonal thing.

A lot of people hate their jobs, but I really love mine. I work with friends. Actually, they are more like family. I see them more than I see my parents, you know?

I am going to start dressing not-as-sleazy. I am getting to be too old to look like trash.

I want to get the old band back together, and I hope it works. I miss having that camaraderie.



xxx.

I am still chasing my dreams, and at this point, I will be fine without fully catching them.

This is a big family, and I'd like to believe we are all in this together. Of course, though, we aren't, but always being cynical is bad for my aura.

I am laying in bed at the Jaison Moore compound with JD snoring like a bear across the room.I have been up for almost a full day.

I am sorry if I have been distant; I was starting to lose track of who I am. But here I am, baby. Take it or leave it.

I hope you take it.





xxx.

Rest in peace, Tim Russert. I always enjoyed your work, and thought you had a great sense of humor. You will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, Camu Tao. Seeing you live changed my life completely. It opened me up to an entire new world of hip-hop. Though I saw you well over two years ago, that show was one of the best shows I have ever been to in my entire life.

Thanks, Camu. I'm at a loss for words. Represent WM up there, man.

xxx.

The thing is, I never thought he was a nugget. Nine years ago today, and I still don't.

I miss you, Owen Hart.





I need to start updating this again.

xxx.

Here's a secret: There are few things in this world that make me happier and more nostalgic than listening to Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band.

I'm not sure if anyone knows that. You are now the "Kitty" to my Anne Frank.

Did he just make an Anne Frank reference?

Yes. Yes he did.




xxx.

If Wrestlemania 24 really was Ric Flair's last match, I kind of wanted to share a story about him.

On April 17, 1999, I had just turned ten, and my dad took me to a wrestling match in, I believe, Ft. Pierce, FL. It was a WCW house show, and it had been a while since I had been to a match. This was kind of the way that my dad and I used to bond. Every so often, we'd go to a match. We went to quite a few WWF Raws, WCW Nitros, or just house shows.

But, on this particular night, my dad told his friend that it was my birthday, and his friend just so happened to be in WCW security. He hooked me up with a "ring boy" position, meaning I got to take the robes and whatnot back to the dressing room for the wrestlers. I was just a little mark, but I loved it.

Backstage, I met Chris Benoit and Rick Steiner, among others, and received a ton of merchandise. My favorite possession from the night was my Four Horsemen t-shirt, that sadly got lost somewhere from moving from Jupiter to Chesapeake Beach.

The thing that impacted me most that night was Ric Flair's match. No, I don't remember who was in it, and no, I don't remember who won. But, before the match, when Ric Flair took off his robe, he was supposed to give it to an actual crew member. But, he saw my Horsemen shirt, and gave it to me instead.

Like a flag, I was told to not let it touch the ground. That wasn't a problem, considering I felt like I was ten feet tall. Ric Flair personally handed it to me, instead of someone he knew. Was I dreaming?

I will never forget that, and I hope that if I stay in this business, I will get to meet him and thank him in person for that, and for everything he has even done for the sport.

When you look in my room and see one wrestling poster, and it's of Ric Flair, now you know why. I respect him more than I respect most people.

Thank you, Ric Flair. Clap clap clapclapclap.

xxx.

It's now Monday, thus ending the busiest week of my life. But, working for Ring of Honor has been a dream of mine since its conception, and working in the wrestling business is a dream that I have had for as long as I can remember. I'm doing both, and I can honestly say that I am proud of myself for moving forward with my life.

I saw some close friends on Saturday, and some friends that I hadn't need since elementary and middle school. Reliving memories from being younger, including being told that someone remembered how I was always tired on Tuesdays in 4th grade because I stayed up watching wrestling, really made me feel good.

I am really trying to achieve my life goal, one day at a time. I am putting my name out there, and making friends. I am grateful for every single person that I have met so far, and I have learned a lot in the six months that I have been working for a wrestling company. I never thought that I'd meet any of the guys that I have met so far, especially not the Japanese workers, or people like Larry Zbyszko.

I have to say that I thank Sal Hamaoui and Gabe Sapolsky for giving me a chance, and now I'm trying to run with it.

xxx.

Tomorrow (or today, I guess) starts quite possibly the busiest week of my life. Three (?) tests, starting the full-time job at Bank of America, and ROH's Orlando double-shot debut. I'd say, "Thank God for Spring Break!" but I won't even be able to enjoy it next weekend, because I'll still be working 2-11pm. I guess this is growing up.

I had a great weekend, filled with Full Impact Pro shenanigans on Saturday, with tons of driving included. On the way home, I listened to a radio show with a man that said he knew who the Zodiac killer was. I laughed. He sounded crazy. On Friday, I had a great lunch with Caity, Liz, Steph, Trish, Nate, and Ian, at Crazy Sushi. It was, in fact, crazy. Then, my Aunt Peggy and my second cousin Dan and his daughter came into town for the night, and we all went to the Outback Crab Shack. I miss Maryland crabs.

Today, I went to church in the morning after getting home at an ungodly hour, came home, edited pictures, said "Sayonara" to those lovely twins, edited pictures some more, ate Easter dinner, edited more pictures, finished editing pictures, said "Smell you later!" to a big headed sweetheart, and took a nap with a cat. All in a day's work, my friend.

Now, I am going to bed, not looking forward to the next week or two. I can handle it, I hope. I just don't want to drown in the stress of it all.

Adulthood, here I come!




xxx.

Me neither, Pig. Me neither.

xxx.

I'm glad to see you

I had a funny dream

And you were wearing funny shoes

You were going to a dance

You were dressed like a punk but you are too young to remember

I'm glad to see you

I'm outside the house

I'm not thinking right today

I've got no energy

I'm glad that you are waiting with me

Tell me all about your day

Breaking off is misery

I see a wilderness for you and me

Punctuated by philosophy

I'm wondering how things could've been

I'm happy for you

You've made it hard for me

I counted on your company

You are staying with your friends tonight

I'm feeling sorry for myself

I keep taking everything to be a sign

I'm happy for you

But now I know this hurt is poison

Too sharp to be bled

I'm sitting on my empty bed

I'm on my empty bed

At night the fever grows, it's pounding, pounding

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh

And watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me,

I'm a cuckoo

Scary moment, lovin' every moment

I was high from playing shows

We lost a singer to her clothes

My trouble raised its ugly head

I was revealed

And I was home in bed

I was a kid again

Jesus told me, go after every coin like it was the last in the world

And protect the wayward child

But I'm a little lost sheep

I need my Bo Peep

You know I need My Shepherd here tonight

Breaking off is misery

I see a wilderness for you and me

Punctuated by philosophy

I'm wondering how things could've been

I'd like to see you

But really I should stay away

And let you settle down

I've got no claims to your crown

I was the boss of you

And I loved you

You know I loved you

It's all over now

And I was there for you

When you were lonely

I was there when you were bad

I was there when you were sad

Now it's my time of need

I'm thinking, "Do I have to plead to get you by my side?"

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh

And watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me,

I'm a cuckoo.

Belle & Sebastian: "I'm A Cuckoo"

This world isn't as big as you wish it was. When you find out that what you need is right under your nose, I won't be there anymore. It's silly of me to even be there now, but I have never been one to "do the right thing." Sometimes, all time does it make it hurt longer. You've stolen my sanity, and I want it back. More than anything, I selfishly wish that I could move away from Jacksonville and pretend the last four years have just been a dream. But, because that's absurd and foolish, I sit around and wait for my cue to screw up again.

This is my life. I want it back.

xxx.

I think it's because you're not just a friend. But do you got what I need?







xxx

Love? Yeah. I guess it's kind of like that. Long gone are the days of love being "like a piledriver." Love is a Burning Hammer.

"...but isn't it ironic that you still have ideals and I still have nothing?"

Today I watched a lot of 30 Rock with Emily.

Today I watched It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Today I watched the rain fall outside.

Today I watched the street lights as I drove down the road.

Today I watched the inside of my eyelids as I tried to sleep.

Today I watched my professor lecture on something that I don't even remember.

Today I watched Ring of Honor results come in.

Today I watched me type things I shouldn't have typed.

Today I watched messages to me I didn't want to read.

Today I watched myself be pathetic.

Today, I watched.

xxx.

I won't lie. It's kind of what my heart did when you said what you said. I know that you are one of the few people that actually reads this, and I hope you know how much it sucks. Not for you, of course. What can I say? I should have expected some sort of payback.

So here I sit, listening to Billy Ray Cyrus. It takes me back to my nostalgic age of four. "It Won't Be The Last" came out in 1993. Let's see what else happened in 1993:


- January 11 : WWF's Monday Night RAW premieres on USA.
- January 23 : President Bill Clinton inaugurated as president
- January 27 : Andre the Giant passes away.
- January 31 : Buffalo Bills lose their third consecutive Super Bowl; Michael Jackson plays the half-time show.

- February 23 : Gary Coleman wins a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents.

- March 9 : Beavis & Butthead debuts on MTV.

- April 7 : I celebrated my fourth birthday.

- June 11 : Jurassic Park debuts in theaters.
- June 23 : Lorena Bobbitt cuts off the penis of John Wayne Bobbitt in Manassas, VA.

- July 19 : President Clinton announces his "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy regarding homosexuals in the military.

- August 28 : Mighty Morpin' Power Rangers debuts on FOX.
- August 30 : The Late Show with David Letterman debuts.

- September 13 : Late Night With Conan O'Brien premieres on NBC.

- November 3 : The Nanny premieres on CBS.
- November 11 : Microsoft releases Windows 3.11.



Yeah, I imagine other stuff happened, but those are the ones that matter. Thank Jebus for Wikipedia.



This is me, moving on with my life. Let's see how that works.





xxx

Sometimes, I feel like I'm getting played like baseball.

xxx

At FIP over the weekend, Larry Zbyszko was there (because he "needed to get out of the house"). I at first didn't recognize him when he walked by me, but when I saw him go outside with a cigarette, I knew it was him. I went up to him a bit later and introduced myself, and we had a full blown conversation. I have always respected him for his work in the business, and to meet him and have him be such a cool guy, my respect for him rose even more. Larry Z. is the man.

Speaking of FIP, Saturday's show was awesome. It was the first one back in quite some time, and seeing everyone was a lot of fun. I love this opportunity I have gotten. The next show should be great as well, and the fact that Ring of Honor is running in Orlando the next weekend makes it even better. Wrestling is good.

I'm expecting a call from Best Buy soon, so I'll find out if I got the job or not. I really need the money.

I think I'm coming down with something. I hope I'm not, but I feel like crap. I think it's gonna be a Nyquil night for me.


xxx
Jake.

Look at you, Percy Bysshe Shelley. Looking all innocent. You aren't. You know you aren't. You're a good writer, but you're not innocent. And I hate writing papers about you. Yeah, I said it. I hate it. I wish I knew how to quit you.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have a two hour break between classes. So, usually, I do a bit of studying in the car, turn on my NPR, and take a nap. Today, however, they were talking about tuna fish. It wasn't interesting at all, but I was just so intrigued that I couldn't nap. I can't remember a thing that was said about tuna fish, but I can tell you one thing...I was tired in my history class.

Back to Shelley for me. This sucks.


xxx
Jake

It has rained for the majority of the day. I am a fan of the rain, yes. But, I am not a fan of tornado watches/warnings, as I do not own any red shoes that will take me back home in case I get sucked up. This is my rational thinking. Take it or leave it.

I managed to fight the torrential downpour and go to Wal-Mart to buy the new Legacy Of Steve Austin DVD. It's weird that I only mark out for him from his 'Stunning' days to his 'Ringmaster' days. After that, it's 'eh.' Nobody cares, Jake. Nobody cares.

I'm just counting down the days for FIP. I'm getting really antsy. This is the first show since November, and I'm happy that I'm going to be seeing everyone again.

Paco let me borrow his bass, and today I learned how to play 'Smooth Criminal.' Not bad for just playing the bass for a day, right? By next week, I should be tearing the house down. Literally. Bare hands. Bare bass.

Emily pointed out probably the best Personal Ad in this week's Folio Weekly. Here it is, verbatim:

Uncommon Grounds
Me: scruffy, hot Scrabble dork. You: probably not interested. Chatted about movies. Thought you had a nice butt, but sex is overrated (just said butt-butt). Only want you for Scrabble. We'll restrict "scoring" to the game.


Best. Personal Ad. Ever.



xxx
Jake.

I am waiting for this to come in the mail. I am going to have to problem whatsoever playing Japanese video games for my Valentine's Day this year. Who needs a valentine, anyway?

The thing about me is that I say a lot of things that I don't mean. I say things that will rile people up just to add some sort of excitement to my day. Yes, it's a personality flaw, but I kind of like it like that.

I used to care what people thought of me. Now I don't even care what I think of people.

When I was younger, I used to claim a religion and be all about praising God or whoever. It was until recently that I realized that I don't want to praise and worship someone that we all fear so much. So, I kind of gave up on that whole thing. I believe in myself, and I like it that way. Who knows? Maybe things will change. But I enjoy where I am currently at in my life.

I parked next to a man at school today that locked himself out of his car. Instead of offering any assistance, I decided to play some Pokemon, eat my fruit salad, and listen to NPR. I didn't want there to be too many cooks in the kitchen, anyway. He ended up getting in because another guy came to his assistance. I call that 'fate.'

I don't know why I have such a vast knowledge on things that will get me nowhere in life. How many people in this world would actually want to argue about the greatest wrestling gimmick of all time, or if Randy Savage had sex with a 14 year old Stephanie McMahon (in my opinion, The American Males and yes, respectively). I need to hit the books.

Speaking of books, I do enjoy a good read every now and again. That's all I have to say about that.

I have class in the morning and I imagine that I will be suffering through an hour and fifteen minutes of my teacher fumbling her words and not knowing what's going on. So, Chris and I will laugh and make snide jokes to each other like usual. Ah, college. It's the life.

I'm good with sarcasm.

xxx

Jake.

I still have no idea where I'm going, and I honestly have no idea when I'm going to get there. Even when I arrive, I'm not sure if I will realize it. I'm trying to figure out what path to take and what path to block off, but all of them look the same in the long run. They all end in death. Cynical? Maybe, but try and prove me wrong. This isn't a movie. I'm not Superman. If anything, I'm just Jake. What else do you want me to be?

People try so hard to be something they aren't. Have I done it? Of course I have. I went through my 'finding myself' phase which included way too much Hot Topic clothing, but I made it out alive. For better or worse.

I have grown up a lot over the past year. I have realized a lot over the past couple of months. [side note: why does the new Dillinger Escape Plan sound like Nine Inch Nails? Get back to me on that.] Does finding yourself mean that you have to know what you want to do in life? If so, I'm afraid I'm never gonna find myself.

I am too fickle to find anything for that matter.

Sometimes I just type, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. I hate when people say "irregardless." It's not a word, people. For real.


Jake.

"I'm watching you change,
It doesn't have to be this way.
It gets harder everyday,
So you keep numb to feel safe.

Fuck what you know,
Can't you see it's shallow?
Every time you swallow,
Do you get a taste of what you've become?"
- Midtown


I have spent today watching seasons one and two of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and I'm not sure if there has been a more brilliant show since it has blessed the airwaves. Seriously, every episode is so witty and creative that I just want the episodes to become little teddy bears and let me sleep with them. That's how much I love them. I want to sleep with them.

"I'm gonna stab his face off."
See. That's the beauty of this show. For real.

Why did I start the blog off with a song by Midtown? More importantly, a song from Midtown that really doesn't relate to anything in my life? Well, because it's a good song. Is there any special meaning behind it being there? Nope. Not in the least bit.

"Politics is one big ass blast."

...which brings me to voting. I decided not to vote in the Florida primaries because 1) My candidate dropped out [I will miss you, Kucinich], and 2) Even if I did vote, I would have just wrote in "Hulk Hogan." So, either way, my vote is useless. Unless, somehow, Hogan won...which in that case, I'm moving to Canada.

I enjoy my new tattoo quite a bit. I don't care what other people say about it, I love it a lot. It's a good thing, considering I will have it forever. I want to kiss it.

I decided against watching the Super Bowl this year, but now I wish I would have. The last two minutes of the entire game were just so awesome. This game has officially made me a fan of the New York Giants, because they beat the "unbeatable" Patriots. I really don't enjoy the Patriots ever since they played at Bartram. I really don't enjoy Bartram ever since I played there. Does that make sense? Nope.

I guess that is all. I love you.


Jake.