So if you're reading this and you're a friend of mine, you should already know that I'm a HUGE mark for The O.C. I decided to check Youtube for some clips tonight (because I'm too lazy to bust out the DVDs), and I decided to watch the ending scene of season one, where it shows Seth setting sail, Ryan driving away, and everyone separating, while "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley played in the backround.

What does this have to do with me? Nothing. It has to do with Summer 2005.

That summer changed my outlook on life.

I hate to dwell on the past, but those couple of months were just crazy. Every day was something new. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Chicanery. Tom Foolery. Late nights. Early mornings.

That summer was the closest I had ever felt to my friends. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I wasn't alone. I felt as though my friends actually got me, as opposed to pretending and nodding their heads. I had the Tripod. I had the Dodeca Daters. I had countless soundtracks (including "Hallelujah"). I had fun.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Due to the actions at a party I apparently dipped out of way too early, the group disbanded. Sure, there were countless reincarnations of it, but nothing could ever compare.

Nothing will ever come close.

I lived my own O.C., and I'm still here to tell about it. What about you?



xxx.

I got some old Juliana Theory, M.O.P., and the old Dashboard EPs today. I was reading an old issue of Alternative Press with Juliana Theory, and it got me thinking about how I loved them live, so I decided to revisit.

I have my last final at 10am tomorrow, and I'm not entirely ready for it. Shocker, right? Oh well. I get what I earn.

We had a holiday party at work today, and it was a lot of fun. I got there at 9am and started decorating, and after the festivities and whatnot, I didn't even start working until 1pm. It was sweet.

My cough isn't getting any better. It is just hurting more and more.

The trackball on my Blackberry keeps getting stuck. Damn my sweaty hands. I'm so gross.



xxx.

I've been really sick lately. I guess it makes sense...I have class Monday thru Thursday mornings, work 2pm-10:30pm Monday thru Thursday, and then wrestling Friday-Sunday. I don't have any time to rest anymore, so I took today off from work. This is kind of a big deal for me, as, though I have left work early due to sickness, I haven't actually missed a day of work since about May. I used to have a major problem with wanting to skip work, and actually skipped work more than I should. But, ever since I started at Bank of America in March, I really haven't wanted to. I enjoy the people I work with, as well as the work that I do. It doesn't make sense to me, I guess.

I was in Boca Raton, FL over the weekend staying with my friends the Vitales, as well as Mark and Shain, and of course JD drove down with me. I always have fun when I go down there, and even though Amy and I were basically dying, I had a blast. The show on night one wasn't too great, but hearing the commentary from the boys and getting to hang out with Andy at ringside made the night for me. I apologize to everyone I was with that night, because, due to my age, we were kicked out of the bar area. But, I got to sit down and talk to my friends, and I really enjoyed it.

Second day, we had Fusion down in Boynton, and it was a lot of fun. This company is really going to be blowing up soon, and everyone in Florida needs to pay attention. Had a good time at the Duffy's afterparty, getting to talk to my homie Chris Jones, and the rest of the south Florida guys.

I sometimes feel like such a loser for doing what I do, but I love it. I'm still chasing my dream of making money in this business, and, with this schedule, I might die trying, haha.


I'm all jumbled. I have a final in the morning. Love you.




xxx.

Me?

I was a maverick before the term was trendy.

Cold winter nights in Florida are warm winter nights in Maryland. Fact.

On Halloween, it had been seven years since I moved into my house in Chesapeake Beach. I can remember that day perfectly, from Gunston Middle's Halloween dance to riding my skateboard around Bayview Hills. I guess it's weird for me to think about.

I've been fabing phone calls a lot lately, and I apologize to everyone I did that too. I get in these moods where talking to people just isn't a main priority.

I'm laying in bed after watching episode upon episode of 30 Rock with Em, Stephanie, and Ian, and I'm anticipating the next months to come. I'm booked up every weekend until Christmas; how cool is that? I'm getting to travel around and get paid to be in the business I love. I'm not gonna stop until I'm at the top, though.

It's hard to fall in love, and easy to fall out.
Credits roll, fade to black, the audience screams and shouts.
And when you find that spot of time to look back at what you lost,
I hope to god you're surprised to find it was worth more than it cost.




xxx.

Yes, I haven't updated since September 8th, Danielle. I'm sorry.

I have gone on here and written on my phone, but I always end up deleting it. I usually write when I am laying in bed at Mark's house, and I am usually there once a week. But, for whatever reason, I always end up pressing "Clear field" and shutting off my phone.

I got in a car accident today. Every car accident I've been in (knock on wood) has been caused by somebody else's wreckless driving. This time, a woman hit another woman who in turned hit me. I guess that's what I get for sitting still in traffic like everybody else was. I got off of work early because I wasn't feeling well, and getting in that accident didn't make me feel much better. But, it was nice outside, so at least I got to enjoy that, right?

...right?



xxx.

Oh man, how good is this album? I've been listening to it on repeat for the past couple of days. I heard about them through AP Magazine, and then heard some of their stuff on NPR the other day. This is the first band in a long time that I haven't found by myself or through a friend. Let's see if this band is just a phase or not, but I can tell you that I have listened to this album in my car three times today (I drive a lot. Big deal. Wanna fight about it?), and am listening to it right now before I go to sleep.


"Everybody leaves, and I'd expect as much from you."


My sister's 21st birthday was on Saturday, and it was fun. I still look at her as that nine year old that I used to play with, though. Getting older isn't worth it. Let's just pause the world for a bit and remain this way.


Classes began two weeks ago, and so far so good, methinks. Nothing too major, nobody too major. Just classes, bro. Just classes.


This coming weekend I believe will be a trip to Tallahassee, and then the week after that is I Believe in Wrestling down in Orlando. I'm really excited for the 26th and 27th, though, because the Jeff Peterson Cup 2008 will be taking place. This is my first time working the Peterson Cup, or even attending, and I couldn't be happier. It is for a great cause, and even though I know nobody reads this blog, I'd like to just promote it a bit.



I need to go to bed.







xxx.

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I have to be up for work in three hours and I'm still awake. I'm punk rock.



xxx

It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

I have been really busy as of late, and I'm not sure if it is going to end anytime soon. At least I don't feel like I am wasting my life anymore. Not as much, at least.

Even though my Snoopy pajama pants have Christmas trees on them, I don't feel like they are only a seasonal thing.

A lot of people hate their jobs, but I really love mine. I work with friends. Actually, they are more like family. I see them more than I see my parents, you know?

I am going to start dressing not-as-sleazy. I am getting to be too old to look like trash.

I want to get the old band back together, and I hope it works. I miss having that camaraderie.



xxx.

I am still chasing my dreams, and at this point, I will be fine without fully catching them.

This is a big family, and I'd like to believe we are all in this together. Of course, though, we aren't, but always being cynical is bad for my aura.

I am laying in bed at the Jaison Moore compound with JD snoring like a bear across the room.I have been up for almost a full day.

I am sorry if I have been distant; I was starting to lose track of who I am. But here I am, baby. Take it or leave it.

I hope you take it.





xxx.

Rest in peace, Tim Russert. I always enjoyed your work, and thought you had a great sense of humor. You will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, Camu Tao. Seeing you live changed my life completely. It opened me up to an entire new world of hip-hop. Though I saw you well over two years ago, that show was one of the best shows I have ever been to in my entire life.

Thanks, Camu. I'm at a loss for words. Represent WM up there, man.

xxx.

The thing is, I never thought he was a nugget. Nine years ago today, and I still don't.

I miss you, Owen Hart.





I need to start updating this again.

xxx.

Here's a secret: There are few things in this world that make me happier and more nostalgic than listening to Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band.

I'm not sure if anyone knows that. You are now the "Kitty" to my Anne Frank.

Did he just make an Anne Frank reference?

Yes. Yes he did.




xxx.

If Wrestlemania 24 really was Ric Flair's last match, I kind of wanted to share a story about him.

On April 17, 1999, I had just turned ten, and my dad took me to a wrestling match in, I believe, Ft. Pierce, FL. It was a WCW house show, and it had been a while since I had been to a match. This was kind of the way that my dad and I used to bond. Every so often, we'd go to a match. We went to quite a few WWF Raws, WCW Nitros, or just house shows.

But, on this particular night, my dad told his friend that it was my birthday, and his friend just so happened to be in WCW security. He hooked me up with a "ring boy" position, meaning I got to take the robes and whatnot back to the dressing room for the wrestlers. I was just a little mark, but I loved it.

Backstage, I met Chris Benoit and Rick Steiner, among others, and received a ton of merchandise. My favorite possession from the night was my Four Horsemen t-shirt, that sadly got lost somewhere from moving from Jupiter to Chesapeake Beach.

The thing that impacted me most that night was Ric Flair's match. No, I don't remember who was in it, and no, I don't remember who won. But, before the match, when Ric Flair took off his robe, he was supposed to give it to an actual crew member. But, he saw my Horsemen shirt, and gave it to me instead.

Like a flag, I was told to not let it touch the ground. That wasn't a problem, considering I felt like I was ten feet tall. Ric Flair personally handed it to me, instead of someone he knew. Was I dreaming?

I will never forget that, and I hope that if I stay in this business, I will get to meet him and thank him in person for that, and for everything he has even done for the sport.

When you look in my room and see one wrestling poster, and it's of Ric Flair, now you know why. I respect him more than I respect most people.

Thank you, Ric Flair. Clap clap clapclapclap.

xxx.

It's now Monday, thus ending the busiest week of my life. But, working for Ring of Honor has been a dream of mine since its conception, and working in the wrestling business is a dream that I have had for as long as I can remember. I'm doing both, and I can honestly say that I am proud of myself for moving forward with my life.

I saw some close friends on Saturday, and some friends that I hadn't need since elementary and middle school. Reliving memories from being younger, including being told that someone remembered how I was always tired on Tuesdays in 4th grade because I stayed up watching wrestling, really made me feel good.

I am really trying to achieve my life goal, one day at a time. I am putting my name out there, and making friends. I am grateful for every single person that I have met so far, and I have learned a lot in the six months that I have been working for a wrestling company. I never thought that I'd meet any of the guys that I have met so far, especially not the Japanese workers, or people like Larry Zbyszko.

I have to say that I thank Sal Hamaoui and Gabe Sapolsky for giving me a chance, and now I'm trying to run with it.

xxx.

Tomorrow (or today, I guess) starts quite possibly the busiest week of my life. Three (?) tests, starting the full-time job at Bank of America, and ROH's Orlando double-shot debut. I'd say, "Thank God for Spring Break!" but I won't even be able to enjoy it next weekend, because I'll still be working 2-11pm. I guess this is growing up.

I had a great weekend, filled with Full Impact Pro shenanigans on Saturday, with tons of driving included. On the way home, I listened to a radio show with a man that said he knew who the Zodiac killer was. I laughed. He sounded crazy. On Friday, I had a great lunch with Caity, Liz, Steph, Trish, Nate, and Ian, at Crazy Sushi. It was, in fact, crazy. Then, my Aunt Peggy and my second cousin Dan and his daughter came into town for the night, and we all went to the Outback Crab Shack. I miss Maryland crabs.

Today, I went to church in the morning after getting home at an ungodly hour, came home, edited pictures, said "Sayonara" to those lovely twins, edited pictures some more, ate Easter dinner, edited more pictures, finished editing pictures, said "Smell you later!" to a big headed sweetheart, and took a nap with a cat. All in a day's work, my friend.

Now, I am going to bed, not looking forward to the next week or two. I can handle it, I hope. I just don't want to drown in the stress of it all.

Adulthood, here I come!




xxx.

Me neither, Pig. Me neither.

xxx.

I'm glad to see you

I had a funny dream

And you were wearing funny shoes

You were going to a dance

You were dressed like a punk but you are too young to remember

I'm glad to see you

I'm outside the house

I'm not thinking right today

I've got no energy

I'm glad that you are waiting with me

Tell me all about your day

Breaking off is misery

I see a wilderness for you and me

Punctuated by philosophy

I'm wondering how things could've been

I'm happy for you

You've made it hard for me

I counted on your company

You are staying with your friends tonight

I'm feeling sorry for myself

I keep taking everything to be a sign

I'm happy for you

But now I know this hurt is poison

Too sharp to be bled

I'm sitting on my empty bed

I'm on my empty bed

At night the fever grows, it's pounding, pounding

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh

And watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me,

I'm a cuckoo

Scary moment, lovin' every moment

I was high from playing shows

We lost a singer to her clothes

My trouble raised its ugly head

I was revealed

And I was home in bed

I was a kid again

Jesus told me, go after every coin like it was the last in the world

And protect the wayward child

But I'm a little lost sheep

I need my Bo Peep

You know I need My Shepherd here tonight

Breaking off is misery

I see a wilderness for you and me

Punctuated by philosophy

I'm wondering how things could've been

I'd like to see you

But really I should stay away

And let you settle down

I've got no claims to your crown

I was the boss of you

And I loved you

You know I loved you

It's all over now

And I was there for you

When you were lonely

I was there when you were bad

I was there when you were sad

Now it's my time of need

I'm thinking, "Do I have to plead to get you by my side?"

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh

And watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me,

I'm a cuckoo.

Belle & Sebastian: "I'm A Cuckoo"

This world isn't as big as you wish it was. When you find out that what you need is right under your nose, I won't be there anymore. It's silly of me to even be there now, but I have never been one to "do the right thing." Sometimes, all time does it make it hurt longer. You've stolen my sanity, and I want it back. More than anything, I selfishly wish that I could move away from Jacksonville and pretend the last four years have just been a dream. But, because that's absurd and foolish, I sit around and wait for my cue to screw up again.

This is my life. I want it back.

xxx.