This is what professional wrestling needs again.




xxx.

"Time Bomb"

It has been said that you must hit rock bottom before you are able to bounce back. I have officially found out how far down rock bottom is:

It's right below finding out that everything you thought you knew about someone has been a lie.

Imagine sharing five years with a significant other. Imagine sharing thoughts with this person. Imagine sharing dreams with this person. Imagine sharing secrets. Goals. Your heart. Imagine sharing your most important (or so I once believed) years with this fucking person, just to have everything change in a day.

Was it worth it?

Ultimately, I never knew I signed up for this. I didn't realize you were on a timer, set to explode with the truth someday. I was happy being so ignorant, and ignoring all the signs that were thrown at me.

All the signs that I wish I could call you out on now, so I wouldn't be where I am (fighting sleep and thoughts while driving around some city I couldn't care less about.)

Yes, I know we all have our problems. Of course. Do they realize how serious yours were? Or that you only tell people about them when you were lacking attention? No matter how hard you try, you're not an 18 year old "tortured artist."

My problem, you ask? My problem was you.

Was it worth it?

So you said it "relieved tension." I say that you can't go even a minute without being the spotlight.

Who is this new guy, anyway? Does he know about me? Did you tell him anything about your past, besides these scars that you once kept clandestine?

This is the bouncing back I need. This is my renewal. You can have your new friends. You can have their drug addiction, as well as all of your baggage back. I'm throwing all the memories, all the feelings I had for you away.

What you and I once referred to as "making love" will now just be my greeting card to any attractive female I meet along the way. I don't care what that makes me, or what that makes them for that matter. Whatever it takes to get you out of my head is what has to be done.

It's like you were just in time to wreck my life. I've never been much of an architect past LEGOs, but you knocked this all down faster than the castles I made when I was eight. It's time to build a better foundation. Huff and puff all you want, this house will no longer be blown down. Not just by you, but by anyone.

Was it worth what you did to your wrists?





xxx.

Type. Select. Erase.
Type. Select. Erase.
Type. Select. Erase.
Type. Select. Erase.

This is my current trend in writing these blogs:

Type. Select. Erase.

Sometimes, I wish everything in life was able to be deleted this easily.

Type. Select. Erase.

It's not so much writer's block as it is a kinked hose. Too much is going on in my head.

Type. Select. Erase.

I'm gonna get all of this right someday.

Type. Select. Erase.

You can't believe how much I erased from this. I can't believe it either.

Type. Select. Erase.



xxx.
(type. select. erase.)

If there are any two shirts I'd love to re-own, it's these two:







Someone point me in their direction. Thanks.



xxx.

"When a boy writes off the world, it's done in sloppy, misspelled words. If a girl writes off the world, it's done in cursive. I'm searching for her."





xxx.

I hope there is somebody out there that is a lot like Anna. She has always been the epitome of perfection for me...is that weird? Is it weird that, even though this song and episode both have completely different meaning to me these days, I still hold this close to my heart?

Call me what you will, but if there's an Anna out there, I'm going to find her, and she won't be another notch in my belt.

She's better than that.





xxx.

I wish I could tell you how many songs you ruined for me. But, that's okay. I'll still listen. I just have an empty feeling in my gut when they come on.




xxx.

I am happy. For the first time in a long time, I can say that for the time being, I'm happy and stress-free. This time around, I'm doing things my way.

I'm going out and meeting new people. I'm down 30+ pounds thanks to the encouragement of my friends. I'm fitting into shirts I haven't worn in years. I'm loving it.

I have hopes for the future these days. I don't know where I want to be, but I know who I want to be. I'm not the same kid that would get torn down at the drop of a hat. Thick skin and a brain has finally come into play.

Living well is my best revenge to all of those I have lost. I didn't need you, anyway.

Here's to those still around. Those that didn't run. Those that are there for me. Those that let me crash on their floor/couch. Those that call me out on my bullshit. Those that would rather be bored with me than bored alone. Those that travel with me. Those that let me tag along. Those that respond to late night/early morning texts. Those that let me complain. Those that I can call my friend and absolutely mean without a shadow of a doubt.

You are the people I owe everything to. Blood is thicker than water, but I swear that my water isn't something to scoff at.



xxx.