Monday, August 24, 2009

"Time Bomb"

It has been said that you must hit rock bottom before you are able to bounce back. I have officially found out how far down rock bottom is:

It's right below finding out that everything you thought you knew about someone has been a lie.

Imagine sharing five years with a significant other. Imagine sharing thoughts with this person. Imagine sharing dreams with this person. Imagine sharing secrets. Goals. Your heart. Imagine sharing your most important (or so I once believed) years with this fucking person, just to have everything change in a day.

Was it worth it?

Ultimately, I never knew I signed up for this. I didn't realize you were on a timer, set to explode with the truth someday. I was happy being so ignorant, and ignoring all the signs that were thrown at me.

All the signs that I wish I could call you out on now, so I wouldn't be where I am (fighting sleep and thoughts while driving around some city I couldn't care less about.)

Yes, I know we all have our problems. Of course. Do they realize how serious yours were? Or that you only tell people about them when you were lacking attention? No matter how hard you try, you're not an 18 year old "tortured artist."

My problem, you ask? My problem was you.

Was it worth it?

So you said it "relieved tension." I say that you can't go even a minute without being the spotlight.

Who is this new guy, anyway? Does he know about me? Did you tell him anything about your past, besides these scars that you once kept clandestine?

This is the bouncing back I need. This is my renewal. You can have your new friends. You can have their drug addiction, as well as all of your baggage back. I'm throwing all the memories, all the feelings I had for you away.

What you and I once referred to as "making love" will now just be my greeting card to any attractive female I meet along the way. I don't care what that makes me, or what that makes them for that matter. Whatever it takes to get you out of my head is what has to be done.

It's like you were just in time to wreck my life. I've never been much of an architect past LEGOs, but you knocked this all down faster than the castles I made when I was eight. It's time to build a better foundation. Huff and puff all you want, this house will no longer be blown down. Not just by you, but by anyone.

Was it worth what you did to your wrists?



Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

mE tHiNkS u NeEd To StOp WiTh AlL oF tHe GaY pOeTrY sAmUeL lAnGhOrNe ClEmEnS-sPoSeTtA

Jake. said...

Completely agreed.