Friday, April 24, 2009

I was recently talking to a friend of mine about bands that we considered "ours," and how they got taken away from us when they got popular. My three main choices: Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, and Say Anything.

I first heard Taking Back Sunday in the summer of 2002, but didn't really get into them until December of that year. I remember my friend driving us to pick up his sister from cheerleading practice in the snow, and I had a dance to go to that night. I was real nervous. But, for some reason or another, "Cute Without the 'E'" came on, and everything seemed to click. My life changed from that point on. "Tell All Your Friends" was an album that defined me, and really submerged me into a music scene that I guess I have gotten out of. I just think back seven years ago and how different everything was, and I can't help to smile. Young and angsty, I guess. I miss it.

Fall Out Boy was a band that I first heard in 2003. "Chicago Is So Two Years Ago" turned me on to clever and tongue-in-cheek lyrics, and made being vengeful and spiteful sound so fun. Their first three albums are still on heavy rotation, and their lyrics still go through my head (ex. "...and when this all goes to hell, will you be able to tell me 'sorry' with a straight face," and "I'm the kinda kid that can't let anything go, and you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat.") I saw them live in a gym in 2004, and actually met them. They were opening for Sugarcult and they were just hanging out. This was before egos took over and they got radio play, so it was early 2004. God, I miss them.

Say Anything was a band that I first heard in the summer of 2004, but didn't get into until the winter of that year. Max Bemis is a genius, and "...Is A Real Boy" helped me out during a hard time in my life. That album helped get me friends, as we would all talk about how we saw them on their first ever show in Florida, and talk about his lyrics and how crazy he was. I got the CD for Christmas in 2004, and I wore it out. I can still sing every song in its entirety, even though I don't remember the last time I listened to it. I felt such a sense of friendship when my friends and I would sing "Belt" ("so what say you and all your friends meet all of my friends in the alley tonight?"), and I still think back to it whenever I hear it. I remember telling my manager at Hot Topic back then that they were going to be huge...guess I was right.

These are bands that I wish I could have kept as my own little secret, but things never work like that. Those three bands shaped who I am today. Before wrestling took over, music was my love. I hope it goes back to that again someday.


xxx.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My sister is moving to Georgia in little over a week, and it is now dawning on me as to how weird that will be for me. For the past twenty years of my life she has lived with me, so this change, though it is definitely good for her, is going to be very strange for me. There won't be anyone to watch old Nickelodeon commercials on Youtube with at 1am. There won't even be anyone else here up at 1am, for that matter. There won't be anyone to reminisce about random stuff about here all the time, or to go to the store with me late at night when I forget something. I know these things sound really little to most, but it means something to me.

I tell people this a lot, but since my family moved around a lot, we became really close. For a while, we were all we really had. Before we made friends, we would spend all of our time together. Though it was very frustrating at times, looking back, I wouldn't change it for the world. Emily and I got really close due to the fact that we were experiencing new middle schools and high schools together at the same time, so we understood each other as to where we were coming from. So, this is going to be a hard move for me, but I will do my regular gimmick and just be stonefaced. That's how I am, I guess. She's gonna enjoy herself though.

This weekend marks my parents' 25th wedding anniversary, and we are having a big party for both that as well as Em's graduation. 25 years is a long time, and a big feat. To think that my mom was about my age when she moved to Florida and got married boggles my mind. I am so far from that, it can't even compute to me. Being together for this long takes skill. I'm very happy for them.

I listen to Bob Seger a lot. Almost too much.

I keep trying to post a video on here of Arlie and the Hero, but I can't figure it out. I think I'm just going to post it in a different post, and then post this. Here goes nothing.


xxx.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I'm going to Tallahassee this weekend to see some old friends and hopefully clear my head. Every trip to Tally I've made so far has been a good time, and that's what I need right now. A good time with old friends. And maybe tattoos.

Lately, I'm not sure how to think about anything. I hope that goes away soon.

I'm almost done with this semester and I can't wait. Some sort of time off of this schedule would be great.

The New York/MD trip I'm planning would be mid June. I'm just looking for somewhere in NY to house me at the moment. When I can figure that out, I will finally be back in yankee country again. I'm sick of the confederacy.



xxx.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

"I lost my mind, and now I'm losing you...so tell me something awesome."

Sometimes, I find out things that make me feel great. They genuinely make me feel like a million bucks. I didn't even do anything, and I feel like I won the war.

I've said it a lot today, but you get what you deserve. You didn't deserve me. I was too good.

Freeeeedommmm. Freedom of bad thoughts. Freedom of sadness. Freedom of anxiety.

I'm yawning out any oxygen that was tainted by my past. In with the new, out with the you.

I'm feeling a trip to Maryland and New York this summer, no doubt. I gotta figure it all out.



xxx.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

"I'm not sure if you're worth it, but I'm not ready to call this a night."

The second line in that lyric was the first one I contributed to Arlie. That song with rough vox just came on my iPod and I thought I should share.

So...it is my birthday. The big 2-0. No longer involved in teenager stuff. You guys are all kids.I'm a man's man, now. Thank you to Caity, JD, Shain, Megan, and Brittany for the midnight birthday wishes.

So, Jake, how are you spending your birthday?

I'm glad you asked. I'm waking up at 7am, taking Shannon to the airport, going to class, and then going to work, thus not having any Jake time for my twentieth. Thanks for asking.

I've had some really cool birthday parties in my day. When I turned four, I believe, my mom made me a wrestling ring cake with the Warlord and Mountie figures on it. I loved it.

In kindergarten, I had an awesome party at the Imagination Station in Jupiter.

In fifth grade I had an awesome surprise party that I had no idea about. Thirty little prepubescent kids running around a pool. That was one of my favorites.

On my 16th birthday, some of the best friends a person could ask for threw me a surprise party. I was still the new kid, so that really was great for me. I'm forever in debt.

For my 18th, I went to Five Points with Trish and Caity, went to an art festival with Luke, met Brittany's dad, and had a little party. That was a lot of fun.

Last year, I worked.

This year? I work.

Something is wrong with this picture.



xxx.

Monday, April 06, 2009

I tell people this a lot, but it's true: when I was a little kid, all I really had was wrestling and music. Those have been the two main constants in my life. So, every year, I'd wait around for Wrestlemania, as it really was the "grandaddy of them all." Especially before all the In Your House ppvs started, Wrestlemania was the one major event in sports entertainment.

I remember when they rereleased the Wrestlemanias on VHS, and how happy I was to finally get 2, 3, 4, and 5. I would watch them all the time. That was around 1999, and at that time, being a ten year old that loved that wasn't very cool. Being a twenty year old and loving that stuff now isn't very cool either, though.

Two years ago was the first time I had actually sat and watched a Wrestlemania since WM14 in 1998, meaning in the nine years from '98 to '07, the most recent one I had seen was 14. That is ridiculous.

I ordered WM25 tonight and now I am completely regretting my decision. The negatives about this show outweigh the positives. In fact, to me, the only positives were Ricky Steamboat (who was just incredible), the HBK/Taker match even though the falsies killed the crowd, and the Steve Austin segment. The main and semi-main were nothing special at all.

Have I grown out of Wrestlemania, or has it grown out of me?

I'm exhausted.


xxx.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

I'm at the Saratoga Springs hotel sitting on the bed after taking a nice, much needed shower. Paco is on the next bed on his Sidekick. We are the technology communication age.

Long, busy, fun day in Lake Buena Vista. Woke up and drove down with some friends in the car, and experienced some great conversations.

We got to the hotel and played some Rock Band before going out to the Magic Kingdom. The Magic Kingdom during the day is a nightmare. Millions of people everywhere, and none of them know where they are going/what they are doing. I guess I was one of them, but still. We went to Splash Mountain which was a lot scarier than I remembered. I don't mean to sound like some jabrone, but for real. It was unpleasant. Hit up It's A Small World and maybe something else (I don't remember), and went back to the hotel for food.

Went back to the park at around seven and it was just phenomenal. The amount of people there was almost cut in half, the weather was nice, and everyone was in much better spirits. I finally rode all three mountains in a day, but I gotta say, I hated Space Mountain. Hearing all the creaks of the track, and being in total darkness, made me feel like I was in hell. But, now I can say I did it.

I had a lot of fun today, and I'm dreading going back to the real world.



xxx.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

I should be sleeping because I gotta be up to go to Disney in a couple of hours. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. Some people that were supposed to come can't make it, and it kind of bums me out. But the friends that are coming mean a lot to me, and I don't want to take advantage of it.

Today, Shannon and I took a quick little road trip down to Gainesville, and it was pretty enjoyable. I hadn't listened to bands like Casey Jones and Set Your Goals in a while, so it was nostalgic to me when he put them on.

I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I have this really weird feeling of anxiety and fear, and I'm not sure where to go from here.I just wish that certain people would care more about stuff. It breaks my heart.

I'm listening to Atmosphere's "You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having" album. I loved this a lot.I still love it. I think it really showed what he is capable of. His newest album reinforces it.

I don't have a lot to say today, I guess. I'm just feeling weird for whatever reason.




xxx.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Shannon helps me think that, hey, maybe I'm not crazy. Which, in essence, is keeping me sane.

I'm glad he's in town. Had a nice day with him and Nate, which included hitting up the town center and then Times Grill. Shannon and I then did some brodown type stuff, talked about girls and tattoos, talked about music, and now I'm heading to sleep.

Busy weekend ahead of me. Tomorrow I'm making a quick road trip down to Gainesville to pick up Stephanie, and then who knows. Either Rock Band or a tattoo. I'm still undecided, I guess.

I may just wait until I can get up to MD so Shannon could give me one. But who knows the next time I will be there?

Time for me to be hitting the ol' dusty trail.



xxx.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Tonight I'm listening to the Gaslight Anthem's "The Senor and the Queen." Not for much longer though, because it is only four songs long. I don't know how I became such a big fan of this band, it just kind of happened. I heard about them on NPR at some point last year and it went on from there. I like that they can use words like "senorita" and "casanova" and genuinely make it work.

I don't think I did anything of major importance today, besides hanging out with Trish. I hadn't seen her since New Year's Eve, which is odd. She used to basically live at my house, so for her to not be around anymore is still weird to me.it has been this way for a while.

Shannon comes into town tomorrow afternoon, and I'm stoked about it. I haven't seen him since summer 2007 when Countermind came to town, and that visit was too short for my liking. He's staying until my birthday, and I'm definitely happy about it.

I wanna go get a tattoo this weekend, but I'm not sure where to go to get what I want. I'd like to get a chest piece, but what I'd get means a lot to me, so I just can't get some random skeezeball to do it. I don't know. I will figure something else. I just always seem to get a tattoo around this time of year.

Now I'm listening to the Format's "Interventions & Lullabies" album. Lots of good memories go hand in hand with the Format. Whether it is singing "Dog Problems" with Bo in Mr. Franke's class senior year, or going to their show with Brittany, Luke, and Shelby. They are a band for me that I could just continuously listen to and quote over and over and over. I'm such a fanboy sometimes.

I changed the name of my blog. I really want to get more people than just AV reading it, though I thank you for reading it nonetheless.




xxx.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Over the past four days, it has been raining in Florida a lot. Lots more than it has been, at least. If April showers really do bring May flowers, then expect a ton of pilgrims in the fifth month. I'm so clever, I know. The rain was so bad after work tonight that I had to take a shortcut around the block to Best Buy, because I could hardly see the road. So, I sat in their parking lot, sending a few "be safe" messages, checking my email, whatever. It finally let up, but even then, the roads were atrocious.

I've taken plenty of English and film classes to know that rain is always a symbol of some form of 'rebirth.' A revitalizing experience of sorts. It is supposed to refresh you, cleanse you, etc. Florida must really need some reshaping.

The reason I bring all of this up, is driving home from Crystal River, we hit some really bad weather. Bad to the point where lightning was happening in five second intervals, and I was going 15 under the speed limit.

But, on the drive home, I talked to JD and we were talking about the situation I was in, and why I really wanted to get back to JAX. After getting it all out, and hearing his perspective, it made me realize what I was doing. It was like a part of my brain decided to show up and join the party. I felt new. I felt ready for the future. Sure, what happened still hurt me, but I realized that I can handle it. Because I didn't do anything wrong for once!

The rain this evening started not too long after talking to Nate, and gaining more confidence in myself and the future. More cleansing of my past feelings. I'm liking this trend.

So here I lay in my bed once again, this time listening to Ryan Adams' "Heartbreaker" album. I haven't listened to it in a long time. It has the song that Caity and I used to call ours on it, but I will probably fall asleep before it comes on. I kind of want to listen to the rain.

So does anybody read this blog? And, if so, can you let me know please? I don't care who you are. Thanks.


xxx.