Over the past four days, it has been raining in Florida a lot. Lots more than it has been, at least. If April showers really do bring May flowers, then expect a ton of pilgrims in the fifth month. I'm so clever, I know. The rain was so bad after work tonight that I had to take a shortcut around the block to Best Buy, because I could hardly see the road. So, I sat in their parking lot, sending a few "be safe" messages, checking my email, whatever. It finally let up, but even then, the roads were atrocious.
I've taken plenty of English and film classes to know that rain is always a symbol of some form of 'rebirth.' A revitalizing experience of sorts. It is supposed to refresh you, cleanse you, etc. Florida must really need some reshaping.
The reason I bring all of this up, is driving home from Crystal River, we hit some really bad weather. Bad to the point where lightning was happening in five second intervals, and I was going 15 under the speed limit.
But, on the drive home, I talked to JD and we were talking about the situation I was in, and why I really wanted to get back to JAX. After getting it all out, and hearing his perspective, it made me realize what I was doing. It was like a part of my brain decided to show up and join the party. I felt new. I felt ready for the future. Sure, what happened still hurt me, but I realized that I can handle it. Because I didn't do anything wrong for once!
The rain this evening started not too long after talking to Nate, and gaining more confidence in myself and the future. More cleansing of my past feelings. I'm liking this trend.
So here I lay in my bed once again, this time listening to Ryan Adams' "Heartbreaker" album. I haven't listened to it in a long time. It has the song that Caity and I used to call ours on it, but I will probably fall asleep before it comes on. I kind of want to listen to the rain.
So does anybody read this blog? And, if so, can you let me know please? I don't care who you are. Thanks.