Welcome To The New Romance
by Christopher Gutierrez
"your ideas of beauty and romance are just plain boring and outdated.
the flowers: expensive, dead and chiche'. ooh roses, you think that one up yourself? and your forced dates make more for awkwardness and ego-stroking than anything else.
and when that boy you're in love with doesnt pay as much attention to you as he did in the beginning, yep it means he doesnt love you as much as you love him. and chances are you wont live happily ever after. cause most of us dont. dont believe me? ask around.
that whole saving yourself for marriage bit? makes about as much sense as not test driving a car before you buy it. wise up.
and if you're still falling for the same 'i screech my tires, hey look what i can do/buy' dickhead, well then missy you deserve all the garbage he throws at you. like spending five hundred bucks on a car and getting pissed when it craps out on you. cause people are only as shitty as you let them be.
your ideas of romance are as worn out and warped as that old ass vhs porno you've been holding onto since 7th grade.
everyones done what you think you're the first to feel.
your prom, fuck it. its not magical. its $100 tux fees, $500 limos and throwing up in buckets at 2am.
losing your virginity that night? way to wipe out any lick of spontaneity or romance from whats supposed to be the ultimate expression of love.
wearing your hair up? yeah, only girls find this attractive. same goes for your sick fake nails, no ones buying the 2 inch thick french manicure you paid far too much for, and good luck getting those things off. ill be damned if ive EVER heard a guy say, "damn dude, you see her nails? thats sooo hott."
and long walks on the beach means sand in everything from your shoes to your car. fuck sand.
but ill tell you this, fuck if theres not more sincerity on a stage, along streetlights and parking meters or in a dennys parking lot.
staying up till its way too goddamn light outside, making out somewhere your parents dont want you to be.
this is the new romance.
its first times on parents beds.
its tripping her from behind.
its stealing cars for sneak kisses.
its 6 hour phone calls.
its text messages.
its telling your friends you love them.
its reading someone to sleep.
its video game tournaments with people you love the most.
its getting her into the show for free.
its stolen tulips from gardens.
its being able to remember what you did last night.
its having fun with sex.
its clandestine and secret.
its in late night bike rides.
its the smell of sex on your fingers.
its the split second your eyes meet hers when you're going down on her.
its keeping your word.
its breaking it off when its time.
its spooning on the couch.
its the energy in the air the 5 minutes before they ring that doorbell.
the real romance is the 10 people who truly matter in this world.
the real romance is not giving a shit what the other 5,999,999,990 think.
the real romance is the beauty of the fuck you."
Now, who's gonna help me find said romance?