DROP THE BOMB.

"...but I need you! Can't you see that?" I yelled, but she thinks she's got me figured out. She thinks I'm see-through; she thinks I'm glass. Little does she know that I'm tinted. I'm the one fooling this time. Doesn't she know that I am the connoisseur of one-liners and one night stands? You can't work a worker, and you can't outthink someone who hasn’t for years.

She smiled that smile that would go great in L.A., but nowhere else. You know: the cigarette-smoked, coffee-stained, blood curdling, beautiful, sparkling, movie star-esque smile. It’s the type of smile where you either want to choke her, or run before she chokes you. Typically, I wait it out.

"Lauren, are you even listening to me anymore?" I proclaimed, already predicting my answer from a mile away. She saw the blink. There is no way around it.

The funny thing is I was never like this before. I was very run of the mill. My underwear used to have "Sage" written on every tag (it’s a nickname. My mother calls my Paul. My father doesn’t call me much), my socks had X's on them to know which ones are mine. I did the same thing every day, just to make sure I was still alive. I went through the motions until I got motion sickness; then I did it again.

But that one nihilist of the female race changed me, and I want it back. She owes me a pen for my undergarments, coffee and a cigarette for every single morning, and a good thousand hours of sleep.

Morrissey used to write about girls like you. He wrote albums just thinking about girls like you. You made him famous. You made him money. How dare you! Who do you think you are? Where are my royalties?

The difference between me and him is that I am real. I am talking from the heart; he is talking from the Walkman, the mp3 player, the iPod, or whatever other hipster electronic music device you have. I am talking from that abyss in my chest, the one that you had no problem deserting.

I always remembered how to spell "dessert" from "desert", because you always want two helpings of "dessert", which contains two S's. But, after much thought, being deserted twice wouldn't hurt so badly.

I used to spread gossip around the school about you. The handwriting on the bathroom door was mine. I couldn’t believe that you never found out…apparently your mascara went to your brain.

Or maybe the smoke made a thick layer covering it.

Or maybe the tight jeans cut off any circulation you had.

Or maybe you just aren’t as bright as I gave you credit for.

The idea of you and me couldn’t have ever happened. Let’s be real, here. We’d be one half eloquently beautiful, and ¼ love disabled. The other ¼ I’ll leave up to the imagination.

I remember when you walked in that night. You were the stereotypical gorgeous female, wearing her stereotypical gorgeous dress, walking in her stereotypical gorgeous style. Then, there’s me. You know, that one boy that just kind of stands there? Too dignified to be a loner, but not even cool enough to be a wallflower.

You left as quickly as you came in. And then, even before the door shut behind you, you were back again. Where are you now, darling? If history is repeating itself, I’d love to give Big Ben a piece of my dirty little mind. I’d love to tell him how he’s ruining that little speck of patience I had left, and once it’s gone, he will pay for it in blood.

Or time.

If all this is is a game, then call me a cheater. Call me a crook. Call me anything you want. I will play Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, but the gentleman I am, I will let you go first. Don’t thank me, it’s only common courtesy.

It was at a Christmas party on December 21, 2003, and little old me, I was just waiting for something disastrous to happen. I was just waiting for someone to walk through the blizzard going on outside and come steal my heart. I was just waiting for someone to take off their coat, walk up to me, and say "I’ve been just waiting for you my entire life. Take me now; I’m yours." I wish I were still just waiting.

We started off with some small talk.

"Hey, I’ve seen you around before."

"Really, top honors in your class? Congratulations!"

"You’ve had that muscle in my chest since you came here. Let’s go."

Okay, maybe the last one didn’t happen, but it should have. There’s a more than likely chance that it would’ve scared you away, and none of this would’ve happened. Right now, I would’ve been sipping coffee loaded with sugar, watching late night infomercials while faking happiness.

Instead, I’m sitting here at a bus stop in downtown Baltimore, contemplating getting on or not. It’s a new game I play: "To Ride Or Not To Ride". I’m a modern-day Shakespeare, I know, you don’t have to tell me.

I’ve started writing this diary of sorts in hope that you will one day find it and get a look into that sick little head of mine. Actually, if I had the capacity to put down everything in my head, psychiatrists would want to study me. I’d be a neuroscientist’s dream.

Anne Frank named her diary "Kitty". I will name this one "Jaguar", because I’m not as innocent as she was. That poor girl went through hell and back during World War 2, and here I am, whining and crying because a little girl broke my little heart.

Boo hoo.

I remember when we drove to Clemson, South Carolina in March 2004, just because we could. We had the senioritis mindset, and we couldn’t be proven wrong. We rode with the windows down because we wanted to be free. We were free.

"Ugh, this song reminds me of my ex. Turn it off, please," you said about The Beach Boys’ "God Only Knows".

Little did you know, I put that song especially on this mix because it reminded me of you. The score is now Lauren – 1, Sage – 0.

In Clemson, we didn’t know anybody; just the way we wanted it. We were nothing more than a couple of tourists. You were nothing more than an arrogant woman with an agenda to fulfill. I was nothing more than a fool in love. Scoreboard? Lauren – 2 Sage – 0.

I made you a mix tape a month before you ended us. You ended us. I don’t remember much of it, except that I began it with The Beatles’ "Eight Days A Week" and ended it with Ryan Adams’ "Come Pick Me Up". I remember it took me two weeks to put both sides in complete order, without having any sort of awkward silences between songs. I walked by your house the other day and saw it in your front seat. The score is now Lauren – 2, Sage – 1.

On August 15, 2004, you asked me where I saw myself in ten years.

"Right here with you in my arms, celebrating the ten year anniversary of you asking me this question", I responded quickly.

This cunning hero only got a chuckle out of you, but that’s not what I was aiming for. I bet by now that you’ve heard through the grapevine that I was half-serious about my answer. Okay, more like 75% serious, but either way, I wasn’t lying. And you laughed. What the hell was I supposed to do in that situation? Honestly, back me up against a wall, why don’t you? So, I laughed with you. I played it off like it didn’t mean anything to me. But it did. But you did. Ladies and gentleman, Lauren has just scored one million points, and I don’t believe that this game is going to go in the favor of Sage. From all of us here, goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Jaguar, I fear that someday, I will never find someone as great as she was. The way the Christmas lights reflected off her eyes, or the way her hand always found mine. The one problem I always had with that was that they never fit together. I consider handholding to be much like a puzzle. Our hands were never able to piece together. I guess I really don’t have to worry about that much now, huh?

So, here I am, still sitting at that same Baltimore bus stop on this beautiful, stormy day. I think I’ll ride today, like I thought I’d ride for the past month. I always have to keep myself on my toes. I consider myself a Forrest Gump of sorts; except for the box of chocolates (I’m allergic) and the wise sayings (I’m allergic). But, I do enjoy sitting here, and I’m really not too bad at Ping-Pong. I also want to run across the country someday, and if I don’t die, it’d be a beautiful experience.

Lauren, I’m writing this because I don’t know what to say whenever we talk in person. On those rare occasions when we do talk, that is. I should by now, though, considering phone calls from you always go the same route.

"Hello?"

"…Hi,"

"What do you need?" This is where I put on my tough-guy voice. Such a man’s man.

"We need to talk."

"I think you’ve said enough."

"But…"

*CLICK*

If phone conversations were a talent competition, I’d be William Hung. That’s for sure.

I remember waking up to an ambulance speeding by my apartment complex. When you hear sirens and hope to God it’s for you, you know you’ve met the gutter life. But, I found that it wasn’t for me, but it was for little old Mrs. Judy Karan down the hall in 14B (they say it’s 14B, but it’s really 13B. We all know it, we just don’t like to say it). Don’t worry, she’s fine. I just hate that old people always seem to take my glory away from me. You’re old enough to have had the attention before, Mrs. Karan! Andy Warhol claimed that everyone has their fifteen minutes of fame, so damn it, why couldn’t you let me have mine? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s fine. I just think that she did it for the attention. She spilled that water that she was probably using to make her morning tea and she slipped on it. What a conniving old hag!

I drove down to Annapolis today just to walk around the harbor and feel the history. I drove down there, and all I felt was carsick. I don’t mean to sound cynical, because I love this city. But, I always seem to hype it more than I should. I always imagine this beautiful scene, with bare trees and white grounds, with the brisk air whipping my face. But, it’s August, and it’s so hot that even fire is afraid to go outside; for fear that it would sweat.

Past the hair hanging in my eyes, all I seem to notice are all of the lonely people there. I saw maybe two couples holding hands, but it wasn’t in a loving manner at all. It seemed more dysfunctional and depressing than it did loving. I saw these pleasant, lonely people, and it seemed like they had not a care in the world. Then, a light bulb went off in my head. I don’t need you, Lauren. I don’t need you one bit. To me, you aren’t my air anymore. You’re more like the IRS; everyone tries to avoid you until you go after them.

Lauren, what I’m trying to say is that I’m done beating myself up over what could’ve been. Would of, could of, should have. I’m just so sick of being down about you. I’m young, willing, and able. I’ve never needed you; I’ve only thought that I needed someone to be someone. I am someone. Well, at least I’m going to be someone. Watch out for me all over television someday. Notorious or famous by my own means, I will be famous none-the-less. Besides, I have nothing better to do.

So, Jaguar, this is the end of our friendship. I’ve laughed with you, I’ve done a fair share of crying with you, and without you, I don’t think I’d be here right now. Jag, I’m leaving you at the bus stop just so someone can find you and maybe you’ll help them out like you did me. A wise man once said, "Confidence is key."

I would love to shake his hand, and say, "Thank you for everything. You help me more than you’ll ever know."

Final score: Sage – freedom, Lauren – loneliness.

I love how if I talk to an old friend, and I tell them I'm not really into the music scene anymore, I always get some sort of shocked reaction. Like I was once on top of it all or something.

Granted, I did bring the backwards belt movement to BTHS in 10th grade.I also brought the spiked bracelets movement to WHMS in 7th grade. I guess you gotta take the good with the bad.

I made a mix called "Four Bands I Used to Be Really Into," and it is just songs by Underoath, mewithoutYou, the Chariot, and Norma Jean. I should have called it, "How In The Hell Didn't I Get Struck By Lightning While Listening to Christian Music?"

Ed, since you might read this, do you know yet if you're gonna be home this summer? Because I have the urge to play a show. I almost just wrote "playa show," which should be my new nickname.

I'm just delirious now.



xxx.

"I kept your picture just behind the eye, those weeks when our distance grew.
Drove north where I found you waiting in Des Moines - thank God I'm not losing
you.
And girl, I hope you're not alone - and sleep through this weather.
And girl, I hope you're whole again - back home we'll sleep better.

We collide, and onward we do fly."

- The Anniversary, "The D In Detroit"



That song takes me right back to 8th grade.




xxx.

I take my finger, turn into a pen.
Then, I run my hand down your spine.
You guess I wrote something profound,
Something like:"Our love will last 'til we die."
I say, "You're good at this game."
But, what I really wrote is: "How I've yet to be saved"

- The Format, "Dead End"


I listen to the Format a lot when I travel. It's not the most masculine of music, sure, but it keeps me awake. I can sing along to every song, which in itself is a difficult task for an album to accomplish. I have really good memories involving both of their albums, and seeing them live was a great experience. Shame they broke up.

I had a super busy weekend, as Ring of Honor came back to Florida. Last year when I got to work the show, it was nervewracking. I was so excited. This time, the glitz and glamour had faded, and it was just like any other show. I worked ROH in Coral Springs on Friday, Fusion in Ft. Pierce on Saturday, and FIP in Brooksville on Sunday. If you don't live in Florida, then I guess you don't realize how crazy those drives are. For me personally, from leaving JAX to coming back, I probably spent about sixteen hours altogether in a car just driving around from Friday thru Sunday.

I just wanna congratulate my boy Jon Davis on really proving himself to the ROH crowds this weekend, and killing himself in the process. This guy eats and sleeps this business, and there is nobody that deserves it more than him. Kudos also to Kory Chavis, the Lions, Brad, Shawn, FIMH, and any other FL guy that made their debut. This state is booming, and I'm glad I'm a small part of it.



xxx.

It's almost like living a dream.

The life I lead, though rather exhausting, is something I enjoy.

Do I feel like the wrestling business and killed a lot of my relationships? Yes. In fact, I will go as far as to say that if I didn't get into the business, I'd be living in Tallahassee with my now ex-girlfriend. That's a shoot.

But, I've made great friends that almost make up for the ones I've lost. To be honest, I feel like I've lost most. It's my fault.

The only thing I'd change about how I'm living right now is my location. But, that's being worked on. Oh, and maybe I'd change the fact that I always drive. My car is taking a beating.

Why should I worry? We are the city that never keeps.

You can't go home again, and it sometimes even seems like visiting is hard. Though I moved away eight years ago, I always felt as if nothing had changed. Going back today for the first time in 4.5 years, I had high hopes of seeing people. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed those I got to see, but after an hour or two, I found myself driving back to Boca.

It was probably due to a mixture of most people going to college away from home, or the fact that I couldn't remember where most people lived. But it was definitely an experience I could've gone without.

But, on the brightside, I got matching track suits with Andy and Mark.

Remember the time I...
Ah, what's the use in bringing up the past?
That script has already been in production,
And the characters have all been cast.

But I keep going back to it,
Like a fly to a light.
But unlike that naïve bug,
I won't go down without a fight.

Call me stubborn, call me crazy,
I'm just waiting for your call.
I'm not wasting a stereo outside your window,
As I'm almost appreciating this lull.

A sheet of silence in my room,
Yet no sheets on the bed.
Everything is too afraid to make a peep,
As they want nothing more than to stay out of my head.

I'm jealous. I'm jealous of YOU. I'm jealous that YOU have friends that won't abandon YOU or forget about YOU after a while. I'm jealous that YOU don't lay in bed, feeling like someone is sitting on YOUR chest. I'm jealous that YOU don't have to drive 350 miles to try and forget YOUR mind. I'm jealous that YOU can handle YOURSELF. I'm jealous that YOU got away from this town.

I'm jealous because I didn't follow.

"I...I just don't understand," said the boy who believed he was a man. "How can my peers fit in when I can't even walk a block without feeling like I don't belong? What do they have that I don't?"

"Young boy, haven't you learned?" asked the old man. "This world is as false as the night is dark. The world is a stage, and we are nothing more than actors. The only true fact in this hellish life is that nothing ever is."



Forget what you know.

L-O-V-E
L-I-F-E
Here lies Jake,
Finally free.




Just spent too much money going to get an AA that I don't want. I love it.

Happy New Year to all. I enjoyed my 2008, so I have high hopes for the upcoming.

Thank you to everyone I have met this year and have gotten close to, whether it be my wrestling family, or anyone else.

Thank you to everyone involved in some way or another in the shaping of my life in 2008.

Thank you to those that gave my photography a chance, and put me over to others.

Thank you to everyone that let me crash at their place.

Thank you to the people that have driven with me to the shows this year, as I've had some great memories.

Thank you to everyone at work, because I don't know how I could've gotten through some stuff without you. You guys are like my family.

Thank you to my family to putting up with me never being home.

Thank you to my car for being a trooper.

Thank you to my laptop for housing a lot of photographs from many wrestling matches in 2008.



Stay tuned. It only goes up from here.



xxx.

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Boardman, Ohio. I spent like fourteen or fifteen hours in a vehicle today driving from Jacksonville to here, and I definitely wasn't used to it. I can do five hours fine, as most people can, but I haven't been in a car for longer than that in quite some time. I got to sleep quite a bit, which I was into, but just sitting back there was just rough. But, I'm here.

Ohio is probably my favorite place I've ever been to. I'm a big fan of being with family, and since I never really got to be with them when I was growing up, I really love coming to visit them now. I don't really know how to put it in words I guess.

We don't really like doing family picnic for different reasons, but the last one we had with everyone was just a lot of fun. I believe I was seven or eight, but I can still remember it like it was yesterday. It was just pure bliss for me. I feel like such a loser saying that, but it's very true.

Tomorrow is time with my mother's family, and then UFC with Doug and John. After that is fair game.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas or holiday or whatever. I was gonna post about my favorite Christmas (1997, if you were wondering), and how I got an N64 and that first WCW game for it, and it was so great. I'm not sure if one will be better than that, but we all have to grow up sometime.

I need to move into some cold weather, and hope for a White Christmas. Haven't had one of those in a while.



xxx.

"If we had known what we know now, one year later, we'd still be around."
- "One Year Later," The Get Up Kids.


Why did I start this post out with a lyric? I'm not entirely sure. I was listening to the actual song, and he just keeps repeating it. I thought it seemed right, so I went with it. We'll see what happens.

I've been really busy lately with work and wrestling. Last weekend's FIP events were fun, but I didn't get to sleep much. I stayed up way too late editing pictures, and then woke up earlier than I had wanted. Granted, I still woke up at around 11am, but still...I'd rather sleep more than less.

Christmas is officially tomorrow, and I'm not very prepared. I think I have all of the gifts I needed to buy, but I still feel like I'm missing something. I'm just stressed. After Christmas, I will be in Ohio until the following Tuesday, and then it's back to the daily grind. This Ohio trip means a lot to me, because it'll be the first time in three years that I've actually been out of the state. Saying that back sounds kind of ridiculous to me, but it's completely true.

I'm a big fan of Ohio because I'm a big fan of having my entire family together. I never got to experience that growing up, and I wish I could've. There's a lot of heat within both sides of my family, but a lot of it seems to have been squashed. I always hated watching television shows where grandparents would come and visit the kids, and bring them gifts and words of wisdom, because I never had that. I have a grandmother that lived with us, and while I love her to death, she's just crazy. Other than that, I can't say I have grandparents, even though 3/4 of them are alive. It's kind of sad.

I'm just kind of lonely. 'Tis the season.




xxx.

So Andy tagged me in something on Twitter where I have to say seven things that people may not know about me. I believe that is the premise. So, here we go.


I'm a professional wrestling photographer that isn't super into photography. I used to love photography, but I'm kind of bored with it. I know there's still so much more to learn, and there's so much more to do, but it's not where I want to be. For now, I'm fine with it, but someday I will be famous.

I love professional wrestling. I know a lot of people know it, but I like mentioning it. I don't remember the first time I watched it, but my dad said I'd get upset if he changed it when I was a baby. I went to my first live event when I was two, and though I don't remember the location, I remember knowing all of the wrestlers there. I can't tell you why I'm attached to it, but I can tell you that I'm glad I am. I've met too many great people.

I have two tattoos, and both are music related. My first tattoo I got a few days after I turned 18, and it's the sheep from Minor Threat's "Out of Step" album. I've always felt like the black sheep because I moved around so much, and I never got to share the same memories that my friends did. I just don't feel like I'm with the pack, so to speak. The other is a logo from a Lifetime t-shirt of a boy looking at the stars. I'm following my dreams and focusing on the unknown of the future. But, I am still trying to maintain being a child at heart.

I constantly see double vision. I've had two eye surgeries, and I guess it never got fixed. I used to lie about it and say that I didn't see double, but now it is to the point where doctors can't fix me. So I'm stuck with my double vision.

I lived down the street from the Pentagon on September 11, 2001. When I say "down the street," I mean we could see it from the balcony of the condo we were staying in. I hope to never forget laying in bed that night, listening to DC101 playing Blink 182's "Stay Together For The Kids," and smelling the smoke. It really impacted me. I'm lucky in the fact that I didn't lose anybody I personally knew, but I still feel for those that did. Washington, DC was a ghost town that week.

I am only going to college to appease my family. I feel as though I'm not gaining any sort of education, and it all just seems pointless to me. I'm getting my AA and I guess we will see what happens from there. Nothing I want to do involves a college degree, but I guess I could use it as a fall back.

I'm not sure of my religious beliefs. I feel as though it is kind of crazy to think that there is an invisible man in the sky. I also don't think that the population should be afraid of this God, or any god for that matter. I was listening to This American Life the other day, andit had a story about a preacher that started to disbelieve what he was preaching. He said that Jesus was worst than Hitler, because Jesus has apparently sent billions of people to hell, and that's for eternity. I just listen to everyone and take it in. I believe in myself.



There you have it.


xxx.

So if you're reading this and you're a friend of mine, you should already know that I'm a HUGE mark for The O.C. I decided to check Youtube for some clips tonight (because I'm too lazy to bust out the DVDs), and I decided to watch the ending scene of season one, where it shows Seth setting sail, Ryan driving away, and everyone separating, while "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley played in the backround.

What does this have to do with me? Nothing. It has to do with Summer 2005.

That summer changed my outlook on life.

I hate to dwell on the past, but those couple of months were just crazy. Every day was something new. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Chicanery. Tom Foolery. Late nights. Early mornings.

That summer was the closest I had ever felt to my friends. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I wasn't alone. I felt as though my friends actually got me, as opposed to pretending and nodding their heads. I had the Tripod. I had the Dodeca Daters. I had countless soundtracks (including "Hallelujah"). I had fun.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Due to the actions at a party I apparently dipped out of way too early, the group disbanded. Sure, there were countless reincarnations of it, but nothing could ever compare.

Nothing will ever come close.

I lived my own O.C., and I'm still here to tell about it. What about you?



xxx.

I got some old Juliana Theory, M.O.P., and the old Dashboard EPs today. I was reading an old issue of Alternative Press with Juliana Theory, and it got me thinking about how I loved them live, so I decided to revisit.

I have my last final at 10am tomorrow, and I'm not entirely ready for it. Shocker, right? Oh well. I get what I earn.

We had a holiday party at work today, and it was a lot of fun. I got there at 9am and started decorating, and after the festivities and whatnot, I didn't even start working until 1pm. It was sweet.

My cough isn't getting any better. It is just hurting more and more.

The trackball on my Blackberry keeps getting stuck. Damn my sweaty hands. I'm so gross.



xxx.

I've been really sick lately. I guess it makes sense...I have class Monday thru Thursday mornings, work 2pm-10:30pm Monday thru Thursday, and then wrestling Friday-Sunday. I don't have any time to rest anymore, so I took today off from work. This is kind of a big deal for me, as, though I have left work early due to sickness, I haven't actually missed a day of work since about May. I used to have a major problem with wanting to skip work, and actually skipped work more than I should. But, ever since I started at Bank of America in March, I really haven't wanted to. I enjoy the people I work with, as well as the work that I do. It doesn't make sense to me, I guess.

I was in Boca Raton, FL over the weekend staying with my friends the Vitales, as well as Mark and Shain, and of course JD drove down with me. I always have fun when I go down there, and even though Amy and I were basically dying, I had a blast. The show on night one wasn't too great, but hearing the commentary from the boys and getting to hang out with Andy at ringside made the night for me. I apologize to everyone I was with that night, because, due to my age, we were kicked out of the bar area. But, I got to sit down and talk to my friends, and I really enjoyed it.

Second day, we had Fusion down in Boynton, and it was a lot of fun. This company is really going to be blowing up soon, and everyone in Florida needs to pay attention. Had a good time at the Duffy's afterparty, getting to talk to my homie Chris Jones, and the rest of the south Florida guys.

I sometimes feel like such a loser for doing what I do, but I love it. I'm still chasing my dream of making money in this business, and, with this schedule, I might die trying, haha.


I'm all jumbled. I have a final in the morning. Love you.




xxx.

Me?

I was a maverick before the term was trendy.

Cold winter nights in Florida are warm winter nights in Maryland. Fact.

On Halloween, it had been seven years since I moved into my house in Chesapeake Beach. I can remember that day perfectly, from Gunston Middle's Halloween dance to riding my skateboard around Bayview Hills. I guess it's weird for me to think about.

I've been fabing phone calls a lot lately, and I apologize to everyone I did that too. I get in these moods where talking to people just isn't a main priority.

I'm laying in bed after watching episode upon episode of 30 Rock with Em, Stephanie, and Ian, and I'm anticipating the next months to come. I'm booked up every weekend until Christmas; how cool is that? I'm getting to travel around and get paid to be in the business I love. I'm not gonna stop until I'm at the top, though.

It's hard to fall in love, and easy to fall out.
Credits roll, fade to black, the audience screams and shouts.
And when you find that spot of time to look back at what you lost,
I hope to god you're surprised to find it was worth more than it cost.




xxx.

Yes, I haven't updated since September 8th, Danielle. I'm sorry.

I have gone on here and written on my phone, but I always end up deleting it. I usually write when I am laying in bed at Mark's house, and I am usually there once a week. But, for whatever reason, I always end up pressing "Clear field" and shutting off my phone.

I got in a car accident today. Every car accident I've been in (knock on wood) has been caused by somebody else's wreckless driving. This time, a woman hit another woman who in turned hit me. I guess that's what I get for sitting still in traffic like everybody else was. I got off of work early because I wasn't feeling well, and getting in that accident didn't make me feel much better. But, it was nice outside, so at least I got to enjoy that, right?

...right?



xxx.

Oh man, how good is this album? I've been listening to it on repeat for the past couple of days. I heard about them through AP Magazine, and then heard some of their stuff on NPR the other day. This is the first band in a long time that I haven't found by myself or through a friend. Let's see if this band is just a phase or not, but I can tell you that I have listened to this album in my car three times today (I drive a lot. Big deal. Wanna fight about it?), and am listening to it right now before I go to sleep.


"Everybody leaves, and I'd expect as much from you."


My sister's 21st birthday was on Saturday, and it was fun. I still look at her as that nine year old that I used to play with, though. Getting older isn't worth it. Let's just pause the world for a bit and remain this way.


Classes began two weeks ago, and so far so good, methinks. Nothing too major, nobody too major. Just classes, bro. Just classes.


This coming weekend I believe will be a trip to Tallahassee, and then the week after that is I Believe in Wrestling down in Orlando. I'm really excited for the 26th and 27th, though, because the Jeff Peterson Cup 2008 will be taking place. This is my first time working the Peterson Cup, or even attending, and I couldn't be happier. It is for a great cause, and even though I know nobody reads this blog, I'd like to just promote it a bit.



I need to go to bed.







xxx.

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I have to be up for work in three hours and I'm still awake. I'm punk rock.



xxx

It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

I have been really busy as of late, and I'm not sure if it is going to end anytime soon. At least I don't feel like I am wasting my life anymore. Not as much, at least.

Even though my Snoopy pajama pants have Christmas trees on them, I don't feel like they are only a seasonal thing.

A lot of people hate their jobs, but I really love mine. I work with friends. Actually, they are more like family. I see them more than I see my parents, you know?

I am going to start dressing not-as-sleazy. I am getting to be too old to look like trash.

I want to get the old band back together, and I hope it works. I miss having that camaraderie.



xxx.

I am still chasing my dreams, and at this point, I will be fine without fully catching them.

This is a big family, and I'd like to believe we are all in this together. Of course, though, we aren't, but always being cynical is bad for my aura.

I am laying in bed at the Jaison Moore compound with JD snoring like a bear across the room.I have been up for almost a full day.

I am sorry if I have been distant; I was starting to lose track of who I am. But here I am, baby. Take it or leave it.

I hope you take it.





xxx.

Rest in peace, Tim Russert. I always enjoyed your work, and thought you had a great sense of humor. You will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, Camu Tao. Seeing you live changed my life completely. It opened me up to an entire new world of hip-hop. Though I saw you well over two years ago, that show was one of the best shows I have ever been to in my entire life.

Thanks, Camu. I'm at a loss for words. Represent WM up there, man.

xxx.

The thing is, I never thought he was a nugget. Nine years ago today, and I still don't.

I miss you, Owen Hart.





I need to start updating this again.

xxx.

Here's a secret: There are few things in this world that make me happier and more nostalgic than listening to Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band.

I'm not sure if anyone knows that. You are now the "Kitty" to my Anne Frank.

Did he just make an Anne Frank reference?

Yes. Yes he did.




xxx.

If Wrestlemania 24 really was Ric Flair's last match, I kind of wanted to share a story about him.

On April 17, 1999, I had just turned ten, and my dad took me to a wrestling match in, I believe, Ft. Pierce, FL. It was a WCW house show, and it had been a while since I had been to a match. This was kind of the way that my dad and I used to bond. Every so often, we'd go to a match. We went to quite a few WWF Raws, WCW Nitros, or just house shows.

But, on this particular night, my dad told his friend that it was my birthday, and his friend just so happened to be in WCW security. He hooked me up with a "ring boy" position, meaning I got to take the robes and whatnot back to the dressing room for the wrestlers. I was just a little mark, but I loved it.

Backstage, I met Chris Benoit and Rick Steiner, among others, and received a ton of merchandise. My favorite possession from the night was my Four Horsemen t-shirt, that sadly got lost somewhere from moving from Jupiter to Chesapeake Beach.

The thing that impacted me most that night was Ric Flair's match. No, I don't remember who was in it, and no, I don't remember who won. But, before the match, when Ric Flair took off his robe, he was supposed to give it to an actual crew member. But, he saw my Horsemen shirt, and gave it to me instead.

Like a flag, I was told to not let it touch the ground. That wasn't a problem, considering I felt like I was ten feet tall. Ric Flair personally handed it to me, instead of someone he knew. Was I dreaming?

I will never forget that, and I hope that if I stay in this business, I will get to meet him and thank him in person for that, and for everything he has even done for the sport.

When you look in my room and see one wrestling poster, and it's of Ric Flair, now you know why. I respect him more than I respect most people.

Thank you, Ric Flair. Clap clap clapclapclap.

xxx.

It's now Monday, thus ending the busiest week of my life. But, working for Ring of Honor has been a dream of mine since its conception, and working in the wrestling business is a dream that I have had for as long as I can remember. I'm doing both, and I can honestly say that I am proud of myself for moving forward with my life.

I saw some close friends on Saturday, and some friends that I hadn't need since elementary and middle school. Reliving memories from being younger, including being told that someone remembered how I was always tired on Tuesdays in 4th grade because I stayed up watching wrestling, really made me feel good.

I am really trying to achieve my life goal, one day at a time. I am putting my name out there, and making friends. I am grateful for every single person that I have met so far, and I have learned a lot in the six months that I have been working for a wrestling company. I never thought that I'd meet any of the guys that I have met so far, especially not the Japanese workers, or people like Larry Zbyszko.

I have to say that I thank Sal Hamaoui and Gabe Sapolsky for giving me a chance, and now I'm trying to run with it.

xxx.

Tomorrow (or today, I guess) starts quite possibly the busiest week of my life. Three (?) tests, starting the full-time job at Bank of America, and ROH's Orlando double-shot debut. I'd say, "Thank God for Spring Break!" but I won't even be able to enjoy it next weekend, because I'll still be working 2-11pm. I guess this is growing up.

I had a great weekend, filled with Full Impact Pro shenanigans on Saturday, with tons of driving included. On the way home, I listened to a radio show with a man that said he knew who the Zodiac killer was. I laughed. He sounded crazy. On Friday, I had a great lunch with Caity, Liz, Steph, Trish, Nate, and Ian, at Crazy Sushi. It was, in fact, crazy. Then, my Aunt Peggy and my second cousin Dan and his daughter came into town for the night, and we all went to the Outback Crab Shack. I miss Maryland crabs.

Today, I went to church in the morning after getting home at an ungodly hour, came home, edited pictures, said "Sayonara" to those lovely twins, edited pictures some more, ate Easter dinner, edited more pictures, finished editing pictures, said "Smell you later!" to a big headed sweetheart, and took a nap with a cat. All in a day's work, my friend.

Now, I am going to bed, not looking forward to the next week or two. I can handle it, I hope. I just don't want to drown in the stress of it all.

Adulthood, here I come!




xxx.

Me neither, Pig. Me neither.

xxx.

I'm glad to see you

I had a funny dream

And you were wearing funny shoes

You were going to a dance

You were dressed like a punk but you are too young to remember

I'm glad to see you

I'm outside the house

I'm not thinking right today

I've got no energy

I'm glad that you are waiting with me

Tell me all about your day

Breaking off is misery

I see a wilderness for you and me

Punctuated by philosophy

I'm wondering how things could've been

I'm happy for you

You've made it hard for me

I counted on your company

You are staying with your friends tonight

I'm feeling sorry for myself

I keep taking everything to be a sign

I'm happy for you

But now I know this hurt is poison

Too sharp to be bled

I'm sitting on my empty bed

I'm on my empty bed

At night the fever grows, it's pounding, pounding

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh

And watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me,

I'm a cuckoo

Scary moment, lovin' every moment

I was high from playing shows

We lost a singer to her clothes

My trouble raised its ugly head

I was revealed

And I was home in bed

I was a kid again

Jesus told me, go after every coin like it was the last in the world

And protect the wayward child

But I'm a little lost sheep

I need my Bo Peep

You know I need My Shepherd here tonight

Breaking off is misery

I see a wilderness for you and me

Punctuated by philosophy

I'm wondering how things could've been

I'd like to see you

But really I should stay away

And let you settle down

I've got no claims to your crown

I was the boss of you

And I loved you

You know I loved you

It's all over now

And I was there for you

When you were lonely

I was there when you were bad

I was there when you were sad

Now it's my time of need

I'm thinking, "Do I have to plead to get you by my side?"

I'd rather be in Tokyo

I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh

And watch the Sunday gang in Harajuku

There's something wrong with me,

I'm a cuckoo.

Belle & Sebastian: "I'm A Cuckoo"

This world isn't as big as you wish it was. When you find out that what you need is right under your nose, I won't be there anymore. It's silly of me to even be there now, but I have never been one to "do the right thing." Sometimes, all time does it make it hurt longer. You've stolen my sanity, and I want it back. More than anything, I selfishly wish that I could move away from Jacksonville and pretend the last four years have just been a dream. But, because that's absurd and foolish, I sit around and wait for my cue to screw up again.

This is my life. I want it back.

xxx.

I think it's because you're not just a friend. But do you got what I need?







xxx

Love? Yeah. I guess it's kind of like that. Long gone are the days of love being "like a piledriver." Love is a Burning Hammer.

"...but isn't it ironic that you still have ideals and I still have nothing?"

Today I watched a lot of 30 Rock with Emily.

Today I watched It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Today I watched the rain fall outside.

Today I watched the street lights as I drove down the road.

Today I watched the inside of my eyelids as I tried to sleep.

Today I watched my professor lecture on something that I don't even remember.

Today I watched Ring of Honor results come in.

Today I watched me type things I shouldn't have typed.

Today I watched messages to me I didn't want to read.

Today I watched myself be pathetic.

Today, I watched.

xxx.

I won't lie. It's kind of what my heart did when you said what you said. I know that you are one of the few people that actually reads this, and I hope you know how much it sucks. Not for you, of course. What can I say? I should have expected some sort of payback.

So here I sit, listening to Billy Ray Cyrus. It takes me back to my nostalgic age of four. "It Won't Be The Last" came out in 1993. Let's see what else happened in 1993:


- January 11 : WWF's Monday Night RAW premieres on USA.
- January 23 : President Bill Clinton inaugurated as president
- January 27 : Andre the Giant passes away.
- January 31 : Buffalo Bills lose their third consecutive Super Bowl; Michael Jackson plays the half-time show.

- February 23 : Gary Coleman wins a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents.

- March 9 : Beavis & Butthead debuts on MTV.

- April 7 : I celebrated my fourth birthday.

- June 11 : Jurassic Park debuts in theaters.
- June 23 : Lorena Bobbitt cuts off the penis of John Wayne Bobbitt in Manassas, VA.

- July 19 : President Clinton announces his "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy regarding homosexuals in the military.

- August 28 : Mighty Morpin' Power Rangers debuts on FOX.
- August 30 : The Late Show with David Letterman debuts.

- September 13 : Late Night With Conan O'Brien premieres on NBC.

- November 3 : The Nanny premieres on CBS.
- November 11 : Microsoft releases Windows 3.11.



Yeah, I imagine other stuff happened, but those are the ones that matter. Thank Jebus for Wikipedia.



This is me, moving on with my life. Let's see how that works.





xxx

Sometimes, I feel like I'm getting played like baseball.

xxx

At FIP over the weekend, Larry Zbyszko was there (because he "needed to get out of the house"). I at first didn't recognize him when he walked by me, but when I saw him go outside with a cigarette, I knew it was him. I went up to him a bit later and introduced myself, and we had a full blown conversation. I have always respected him for his work in the business, and to meet him and have him be such a cool guy, my respect for him rose even more. Larry Z. is the man.

Speaking of FIP, Saturday's show was awesome. It was the first one back in quite some time, and seeing everyone was a lot of fun. I love this opportunity I have gotten. The next show should be great as well, and the fact that Ring of Honor is running in Orlando the next weekend makes it even better. Wrestling is good.

I'm expecting a call from Best Buy soon, so I'll find out if I got the job or not. I really need the money.

I think I'm coming down with something. I hope I'm not, but I feel like crap. I think it's gonna be a Nyquil night for me.


xxx
Jake.

Look at you, Percy Bysshe Shelley. Looking all innocent. You aren't. You know you aren't. You're a good writer, but you're not innocent. And I hate writing papers about you. Yeah, I said it. I hate it. I wish I knew how to quit you.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have a two hour break between classes. So, usually, I do a bit of studying in the car, turn on my NPR, and take a nap. Today, however, they were talking about tuna fish. It wasn't interesting at all, but I was just so intrigued that I couldn't nap. I can't remember a thing that was said about tuna fish, but I can tell you one thing...I was tired in my history class.

Back to Shelley for me. This sucks.


xxx
Jake

It has rained for the majority of the day. I am a fan of the rain, yes. But, I am not a fan of tornado watches/warnings, as I do not own any red shoes that will take me back home in case I get sucked up. This is my rational thinking. Take it or leave it.

I managed to fight the torrential downpour and go to Wal-Mart to buy the new Legacy Of Steve Austin DVD. It's weird that I only mark out for him from his 'Stunning' days to his 'Ringmaster' days. After that, it's 'eh.' Nobody cares, Jake. Nobody cares.

I'm just counting down the days for FIP. I'm getting really antsy. This is the first show since November, and I'm happy that I'm going to be seeing everyone again.

Paco let me borrow his bass, and today I learned how to play 'Smooth Criminal.' Not bad for just playing the bass for a day, right? By next week, I should be tearing the house down. Literally. Bare hands. Bare bass.

Emily pointed out probably the best Personal Ad in this week's Folio Weekly. Here it is, verbatim:

Uncommon Grounds
Me: scruffy, hot Scrabble dork. You: probably not interested. Chatted about movies. Thought you had a nice butt, but sex is overrated (just said butt-butt). Only want you for Scrabble. We'll restrict "scoring" to the game.


Best. Personal Ad. Ever.



xxx
Jake.

I am waiting for this to come in the mail. I am going to have to problem whatsoever playing Japanese video games for my Valentine's Day this year. Who needs a valentine, anyway?

The thing about me is that I say a lot of things that I don't mean. I say things that will rile people up just to add some sort of excitement to my day. Yes, it's a personality flaw, but I kind of like it like that.

I used to care what people thought of me. Now I don't even care what I think of people.

When I was younger, I used to claim a religion and be all about praising God or whoever. It was until recently that I realized that I don't want to praise and worship someone that we all fear so much. So, I kind of gave up on that whole thing. I believe in myself, and I like it that way. Who knows? Maybe things will change. But I enjoy where I am currently at in my life.

I parked next to a man at school today that locked himself out of his car. Instead of offering any assistance, I decided to play some Pokemon, eat my fruit salad, and listen to NPR. I didn't want there to be too many cooks in the kitchen, anyway. He ended up getting in because another guy came to his assistance. I call that 'fate.'

I don't know why I have such a vast knowledge on things that will get me nowhere in life. How many people in this world would actually want to argue about the greatest wrestling gimmick of all time, or if Randy Savage had sex with a 14 year old Stephanie McMahon (in my opinion, The American Males and yes, respectively). I need to hit the books.

Speaking of books, I do enjoy a good read every now and again. That's all I have to say about that.

I have class in the morning and I imagine that I will be suffering through an hour and fifteen minutes of my teacher fumbling her words and not knowing what's going on. So, Chris and I will laugh and make snide jokes to each other like usual. Ah, college. It's the life.

I'm good with sarcasm.

xxx

Jake.

I still have no idea where I'm going, and I honestly have no idea when I'm going to get there. Even when I arrive, I'm not sure if I will realize it. I'm trying to figure out what path to take and what path to block off, but all of them look the same in the long run. They all end in death. Cynical? Maybe, but try and prove me wrong. This isn't a movie. I'm not Superman. If anything, I'm just Jake. What else do you want me to be?

People try so hard to be something they aren't. Have I done it? Of course I have. I went through my 'finding myself' phase which included way too much Hot Topic clothing, but I made it out alive. For better or worse.

I have grown up a lot over the past year. I have realized a lot over the past couple of months. [side note: why does the new Dillinger Escape Plan sound like Nine Inch Nails? Get back to me on that.] Does finding yourself mean that you have to know what you want to do in life? If so, I'm afraid I'm never gonna find myself.

I am too fickle to find anything for that matter.

Sometimes I just type, regardless of whether it makes sense or not. I hate when people say "irregardless." It's not a word, people. For real.


Jake.

"I'm watching you change,
It doesn't have to be this way.
It gets harder everyday,
So you keep numb to feel safe.

Fuck what you know,
Can't you see it's shallow?
Every time you swallow,
Do you get a taste of what you've become?"
- Midtown


I have spent today watching seasons one and two of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and I'm not sure if there has been a more brilliant show since it has blessed the airwaves. Seriously, every episode is so witty and creative that I just want the episodes to become little teddy bears and let me sleep with them. That's how much I love them. I want to sleep with them.

"I'm gonna stab his face off."
See. That's the beauty of this show. For real.

Why did I start the blog off with a song by Midtown? More importantly, a song from Midtown that really doesn't relate to anything in my life? Well, because it's a good song. Is there any special meaning behind it being there? Nope. Not in the least bit.

"Politics is one big ass blast."

...which brings me to voting. I decided not to vote in the Florida primaries because 1) My candidate dropped out [I will miss you, Kucinich], and 2) Even if I did vote, I would have just wrote in "Hulk Hogan." So, either way, my vote is useless. Unless, somehow, Hogan won...which in that case, I'm moving to Canada.

I enjoy my new tattoo quite a bit. I don't care what other people say about it, I love it a lot. It's a good thing, considering I will have it forever. I want to kiss it.

I decided against watching the Super Bowl this year, but now I wish I would have. The last two minutes of the entire game were just so awesome. This game has officially made me a fan of the New York Giants, because they beat the "unbeatable" Patriots. I really don't enjoy the Patriots ever since they played at Bartram. I really don't enjoy Bartram ever since I played there. Does that make sense? Nope.

I guess that is all. I love you.


Jake.

Downright amazed with the queen of hearts,
Living life like the end won't start.
Dodging bullets on the front line,
Clueless all the way.

New Year's Day won't be the same,
With everything I know.
Deceited stories, deceited brains,
Facing me, toe to toe.

This isn't a movie, Jake.
No credits to be seen.
Instead, it's me asking myself,
"What did it all mean?"




"A jaded, bitter man stands. And if the world is ending, we toast to it."

Four days after ranting on the WWE death angle, Chris Benoit, his wife, and his son has passed away.

I hope this shows you something, Vince McMahon.

At leas you did the right thing by showing up tonight on RAW and completely dropping the storyline.


Thank you, Chris Benoit. You have been a major influence to me and you are one of the reasons why I'd like to become a professional wrestler. Thank you for everything in NJPW, everything in ECW, everything in WCW, and everything in the WWE. I will never forget meeting you and Nancy when I was a ringboy at a show in 1999, and how great you were to me.

Thank you, Chris. RIP.



Love,
Jake.

I've had so much stuff on my mind recently, but I haven't had the time to actually sit here and type what I feel. Blame it on writer's block, or the fact that I'm finally sick of being in front of the computer screen, but in the end, the blame goes right back onto me.

My friends in Countermind came here recently and stayed, and I honestly had a lot of fun. It was the first time meeting Pat and Ryan, but they were both really cool guys. Then, of course, you have people like Matt, Ricky, and Nate, who I've known for a long time, and Shannon, who has been like a brother to me since 9th grade. It was great to finally have a group of people that I could sit and talk to and relate to; I don't feel like I've had that since moving. We had a conversation about how "hardcore" music's record labels are starting to sell better than punk labels, and we had Mario Kart races on our DS. Small things like that really make me miss being home. I miss being surrounded by people, I guess.

The only people I really hang out with from my original group of friends here are Caity, Trish, Liz, and Austin. Caity's going to Tallahassee, Liz is moving to Ohio, and Austin might be moving to California. Even if he doesn't, it's not like I see him a lot, anyway. Trish is staying here, but she has a boyfriend, and even though I love Nate, I hate playing third wheel. Everyone else in that group has either moved away, distanced themselves, or gotten into drugs. It's funny to look at people that I considered to be my best friends and see how they screwed up their lives. Ever get the feeling that people really don't want to be helped, afterall?

School isn't something that interests me anymore. I was so excited to get out of high school and start my path to greatness, but now I'm just feeling more and more worthless to myself and my family. I'm going to be someone someday, I promise. I don't think it's in me to just sit around and let life pass me by. Though it may seem like I'm doing this now, everyday I think about ways to get my name out there or try to make connections, which is why I talk to people at work, or why I e-mail bands or professional wrestlers, blah blah blah. I'm not afraid to talk to someone, no matter how I lead on.

Speaking of professional wrestling, WWE is stupid. Hey, let's pretend that we killed Vince McMahon, and make a mockary of it on television! We can make millions! People wonder why I talk so much crap about WWE; now you know.

I need to get a new job so I can get money. I really want a new tattoo, so either I need money or I need to become friends with a tattoo artist. I'll take either at this point.




I am tired of feeling worthless.



Love.
Jake.

Night swimming deserves a quiet night.

Night swimming deserves a quiet night.

Why bother?

The Art Of The Haiku, by Jake.


Life is a buzz-kill,
Death just can't make up its mind.
We just continue.

The world is a stage.
That means I'm afraid of it.
Someone hold my mic.

War's understated.
T.V. shows what it wants to.
The people are bored.

I am a closed book.
My pages are all dog-eared.
Someone was once here.

So, I'm watching the final episode of The O.C., and I am really going to miss knowing that there is always going to be something to watch on Thursday nights. I'll never forget having everyone over at my house for the season two finale, and moving all of the couches and chairs out of the way and putting down blankets and pillows instead. Here's to DVD boxed sets of season one and two that will always keep me at bay. Cheers, O.C. You'll be missed, you unrealistic waste of hours of my life.

WARNING: WRESTLING TALK.

First off, Morishima winning the title in ROH doesn't do much for me. He lost a match on Friday, but was still able to challenge for the title on Saturday? Whose booking idea was that? Yeah, I know: it's great for international exposure. But, they also lead up for years about how Homicide has never held the world title, blah blah blah. They give him the belt for a month and a half, and he drops it? Not cool in my book. Not cool at all.

Also, anyone see CM Punk hit a Go2Sleep on Nitro on the last episode of ECW? What's up with that? I mean, it looked good, but he's no KENTA. I'd enjoy that match, though.

WARNING OVER. WE MAY NOW RESUME.

Man, I've always liked Summer Roberts. Anna was my girl, but Miss Roberts is where it's at. That darn Adam Brody was probably able to see her naked, too. I haven't seen her naked. Something is wrong with this picture, and it's the lack of nudity.

Battle of the Bands is tomorrow, and it'll be my third one in a row. There's something nostalgic about the anxiety and anticipation that revolves around it, and I'm just reminded of my sophomore year. While it may not be my finest year, it made me learn a lot. Knowledge is power.

In closing, I want to say that The O.C. has done a lot for me over the years, as it has given me a waste of a Christmas break in 2004, and a drama to get sucked into. It was the Beverly Hills 90210 of my generation, and for that, I will be forever grateful.

From me to all of you, goodnight, and good luck, O.C. You will be missed.


Jake.

All of my best friends have left me in one way or another. Either:
a) I have moved away from them [my fault]
b) they have become drug addicts or alcoholics [not my fault]
c) they have other best friends that are "bester" than me [undecided on fault]

I realize that I can be boring, but I don't think I'm that dull at all. Just because I don't drink or smoke or party doesn't mean I don't want to have fun. I'm lonely without being alone.



Jake.

If I am remembered for anything in life, I want to be remembered as someone who just didn't care what others thought of him. I want to be admired for not changing to be what people want me to be. I don't care who you are, I won't change my ways to impress and satisfy yours. No, thanks. Also, I want to be admired for always protecting my friends when needing it, and always being there for whatever they need. I want them to always know that I care, even when I don't act like it. If I ever say, "Be safe," when you leave my house or my general region, know that means something.

If Nas is right, and hip hop really is dead, then I hope that punk rock starts making more political stuff again. Without good hip hop, I don't have much else. My iPod has only been playing Nas, Atmosphere, Sage Francis, Public Enemy, Ludacris, The Roots, Aesop Rock, and Run DMC lately, on the hip hop front. On the other side, I've been listening to Northstar (Is This Thing Loaded?), Morrissey (Bona Drag) and Black Flag (Damaged). I remember when I got Is This Thing Loaded? my freshman year with Ben. We went to Best Buy, and I had only heard one Northstar song at that time, so I took a chance and got it. I show no regrets.

Cyrus from The Real World came into Hot Topic today. I love when reality television stars think that they are celebrities. The only Real World cast member that is worth anything is Puck, and that's because he was obnoxious. I always liked Puck.

If I ever do become a professional wrestler, I want to wrestle in Japan. I have been watching the New Japan Pro Wrestling/All Japan Pro Wrestling 35th anniversary show, and their style and panache is incredible. They do everything with such ease and grace, making professional wrestling such an art-form. It really is a lot like dancing, in many ways. It's all about timing and footwork.

I am going to finally go to bed, now. Heather C. (last name withheld) told me today that it wasn't worth her going to bed because she can never sleep, anyway. She has the right idea.


Goodnight.

-Jake.